|Reviews for Song of the Broken Birds|
| Anihyr Moonstar 11/18/12 . chapter 23
Ohh, Via must be alive - or must make it through - simply because of Shrike's doubts here. It's gonna happen. Go Egret, go! And determined points to Shrike for wearing that cloak - yuck.
That news! *Totally* caught me off-guard, and an awesome way to ramp up the suspense and action besides, damn. I was expecting it to be news of Via's (attempted?) assassination, and then when it wasn't that, it was a "Holy sh*t" moment. Can only imagine how Shrike must feel about that.
[One thought cut through my numb thoughts like a heated knife: Rother.] Uh. YEAH. Man, I hope Rother's okay. Scenes like this all all the excitement that came before it are part of what make me wish this novel had sex scenes JUST BECAUSE EMOTION. So much pent up emotion. And the characters - so many different flavors. But hey, you make it highly entertaining without a single bit of sex and that's great, too.
[Only two more chapters to go before I let this thing rest. Unless I change my mind by that time, which may very well happen.] *attempts to use psychic mind powers to re-inspire you to continue this story* This are just getting progressively more exciting; you can't stop *now*! D: Well, here's to hoping, anyway. :)
| Anihyr Moonstar 11/15/12 . chapter 22
URGH, CARDINAL. Why you gotta be so MOPEY dangit? :l Your brother's both have such flare and you're not nearly as weak as you think you are but as soon as you're actually narrating your own story you TEAR YOURSELF APART. Gotta give yourself some credit...
...even if you did totally let Egret waltz off single handedly with the only guy you're supposed to be living your life to protect. ._. Ahem.
I guess I shouldn't have counted Via out after all. And somehow I was too caught up in the drama and didn't even begin to think about quite how big of a deal it was for Cardinal to say upfront that Egret had played into murdering the Emperor right in front of Daz and Leli. But yeah, big deal. Now that they've heard, I...can't even begin to predict what's going to happen next.
Kind of rooting for Egret again. All of this valiant heroism for his master is making my pulse race. I hope you made it through Sandy alright! (I take seeing the next chapter up there to mean that nothing TOO terrible happened.) I really do hope you get inspired again for this story soon though. I understand all too well what it's like to begin losing drive for a story and feel pumped about a new one, but from the reader's perspective - this is just getting ever more exciting! Can't cut it off now.
Hopefully, even though I'm sure a break is inevitable, your inspiration for it will return eventually (hopefully sooner rather than later).
| Anihyr Moonstar 11/15/12 . chapter 21
Oooh, I feel proud of myself (even though it was a lame "duh" level discovery) for knowing exactly where Egret was going to head as soon as he took off running. My heart hurt a little for him, too. Even if he'll never admit how much aloud or even to himself, Via's been his world for a long time and it's gonna hurt like hell to lose him. :(
How beat out of shape and character Egret was this chapter really hammers home well, I think, how deeply his feelings go for Via - what he's willing to put on the line for him. Usually he has everything so under control, but here *finally* we get to see Egret - to some extent - falling apart.
I'm proud of Cardinal for sticking with Daz, though. I half expected him to cave, but I think it's better that he stood up for himself and his word and his master. I look forward to seeing what Shrike's up to and how he's handling!
(And look here, I thought I was only going to read a chapter or two...fail on my part. XD These chapters are just so quick I bustle through them and then I have to make myself review before hopping onto the next one.)
| Anihyr Moonstar 11/15/12 . chapter 20
[Rother was Emperor now.
Fuck. My. Life.] LOL. My favorite part of this is that I started reading this chapter on instinct without even glancing at the chapter title to see who was speaking, and as soon as I read it I blinked and thought to myself, "Oh, we've gone back to Shrike again." So you've succeeded there. ;)
[So here I was, crouched behind a tall juniper bush outside of the western end of the central palace.] Hee hee. Somehow this just suddenly puts the spaceless rant of everything that preceded it into perspective and Shrike's surroundings become abruptly inelegant in my mental picture. XD
[Just the kind of place where you could surreptitiously kill a person.] He's so warm and cheery. I love it.
Oh shit he succeeded. Didn't see that coming. Buuut is Via really dead? Probably. I don't suppose sword strikes through the back are very...survivable. Unless you're insanely lucky or something and Shrike's a trained assassin...
I'm babbling. Definitely the sound of shit hitting the fan. I feel bad for Egret, but I'm kind of glad Via's out of the way. Sounded like he was going nuts anyway and I like Rother more. Someone somewhere once said something about rulers who don't WANT to be kings making the best kings...or something. Anyway, I kind of believe it.
/will stop babbling now
Sorry this is a kind of sh-tty review. It was an intense chapter (in a very good way, just in case that's misinterpretable).
| Anihyr Moonstar 11/15/12 . chapter 19
[I was supposed to protect his life at all costs... Instead, all I wanted to do was protect his happiness.] Awww. :( Poor Egret. Finally getting a little tripped up by dangerous, unprofessional things like HUMAN EMOTION and it might be the end of him and the man he's dedicated his life to (I hesitate to say "loves", since even though Via is clearly very important to Egret I'm not quite sure if it falls in that category or not...I suppose it seems to me like he loves him, but in his own way).
In any case, I feel like I'm in a bind - that "can't root for everyone at once" kind of position, and just kind of have to magically hope for the best in the end. At least it isn't under the category of "Tragedy" so I don't have to worry about *everything* ending sad.
I do kind of wonder if anything more than just standard elation has gotten to Via. He is acting so out of character it seems almost like something else is at work...but perhaps it's just the rush after all. I suppose I'll have to wait and see, but I'm still rooting for Rother making it through all right. He's Shrike's after all; can't let him get killed off this "soon" (hah, chapter nineteen is soon...) in the game.
| Anihyr Moonstar 11/15/12 . chapter 18
[The detached, observant part of mind wanted to take in every detail] part of *my* mind? Feels like a missing word there.
[...but without thinking I stepped back.] Ouch. Another little snip.
I feel bad that Cardinal had to lie to Daz, but I suppose there's no way around it to keep Egret safe. Some world he's living in. I'd die in an instant.
[What am I supposed to do, call him Father?"] Oof. Nice line; poor Daz. I wonder what the Emperor could want with him - what he knows, if anything. At least Cardinal will be there with him.
Daz's bluntness with the Emperor surprised me; he has more balls than I gave him credit for. And the plot continues to wind up - with the Emperor finally dead, where does that leave Cardinal? And Shrike, since he's still there? Who takes over? Looking forward to these answers and more.
I'll also say, I enjoyed the detail about "seeing dragons" and the incense burned only when someone was on their deathbed. Each of those little snippets added something to the world, making it more 'real' if you will. Just little tidbits of the culture that keep it neat.
| Anihyr Moonstar 11/15/12 . chapter 17
[Detachedly, I wondered if he would cry if I stabbed him. Weep like a maiden on her wedding night.] Okay, I like Shrike less again. Very nice lines, but they make my hackles prickle. I hope Cardinal shows up all of them eventually. Everyone's always underestimating him; it just begs to have him steal the show. Maybe with his magic, that would be fun.
So much tension in this chapter! I feel like I zipped through it and didn't stop to comment much like I usually do, but oh well. I think you handled the build up really well. The electricity in the air between Egret and Shrike - so intensely different and yet similar in their ruthlessness - definitely had me on the edge of my seat.
And Cardinal is probably my favorite character (of the three brothers, others aside). He's just...I don't care if they see him as 'weak' - he's the most human. He stands up for all those ideals that'll get you killed in a cruel world but are still worth fighting for.
I do hope that they don't all end up tearing each other to shreds, though. I like each of them for their own reasons and I feel like they could be so incredibly powerful if they worked together.
| Anihyr Moonstar 11/15/12 . chapter 16
[Those who refused to adapt inevitably died.] I like this line. Very quote-able and says a lot about Egret's attitude in general.
[So it was a bit frightening that for the first time, I was beginning to think of going against him.] Powerful end to that first segment - and caught me totally by surprise. Also hurt a little to read, after seeing Egret curl up against Via. Via's been his companion this whole way, and he's considering breaking that. It makes me wonder what could be important enough for him to consider going against Via (if it's obvious in the plot so far, just count this off to me being dumb and not having figured it all out yet).
[As always when I thought about Father, my heart beat faster and I felt colder, emptier.] Interesting how even Father's favorite doesn't feel comforted by the thought of him, though not surprising. I really like how different and filled with details each of their relationship to their father is, despite (at least early on) growing up together.
[Who are you must loyal to?] That's the kicker right there, isn't it? This feels like the theme or "Big Question" for the whole novel.
LOL. Love the ending. Shrike gets cool points for that. "Yo, hey guys, lol...trying to kill me already? Party hasn't even started yet..." I'm learning to like Shrike progressively more as the story goes on. And, of course, great to see them all together finally!
P.S. SO sorry this took as long as it did to come around. I got majorly distracted. I decided to participate in NaNoWriMo among other things, but I'll definitely try to make a habit of knocking at least a chapter or two out a day over the coming week or so and finish off what you have so far (and then probably start on Plug In Baby). This story is a lot of fun and I have no excuse except sheer wishy-washyness for my absence thus far.
Hope things have been going well on your end. :)
| S.H. Marr 10/30/12 . chapter 23
Yeah, I could tell we were getting to a "wrap up point". *sighs* How long of a break do you think you'll end up needing? Because I really do think waiting until you get "inspiration" or something is a VERY BAD IDEA.
Anyway. You're addressig Shrike's idiocy. Not sure what else to say. Um. Yeah.
| fairies and snapple 10/30/12 . chapter 22
i have to say, i love the characters. how they each of such distinct personalities, unexpectedly grown up from the prologue, and i find i have strong reactions to each. eagerly awaiting the continuation!
| SammyCrawfish 10/30/12 . chapter 22
;-; oh my god all my feels... All of them... This story... Me gusta...
| S.H. Marr 10/28/12 . chapter 22
I wonder what Erget thinks he's going to accomplish with this. I don't know much about pressure points, but stabbing someone in a neck vein with anything is going to lead to probable death.
Very depressing. You did the emotions here much better than in Egrets half, I think.
| S.H. Marr 10/23/12 . chapter 21
Yes. Yes, you have. I do not approve.
Goodye, Via. Sorry Egret, you wasted the last moments of your master's life not being with him.
I feel like this chapter should have been longer. I don't know. I guess everything was passing a blur for him or something, but I feel like we should have had...more. Of something. Thoughts, memories, sensory details, whatever he does to cope.
| S.H. Marr 10/20/12 . chapter 20
That's what that sound was? I thought my new laptop speakers were just staticky.
Anyway, looks like Via is dead. But now we have to see what Egret's going to do without a master (if he has to) and if Shrike can even save Rother from the other assassin. Probably not. Daz on the throne? Jeez. Cardinal's going to have his work cut out for him.
But then, I think Daz and Cardinal have the sweetest relationship and I kind of like them most. But Daz would be an absolutely terrible ruler. He doesn't seem to...care enough about the rest of the world. He's too focused on himself nad his reclusvieness is not good material for a leader.
We shall see. I don't want any of the brothers to die, but I suspect that's not entirely possible.
| S.H. Marr 10/16/12 . chapter 19
O_O Hiatus and taking a break is different. I think if you stop writing it completely, it won't help anything. Don't get me wrong, I'm usually writing more h tan one things and one thing usually takes up more of my energies, but I usually try not to take more than a day or t wo off of, say, Sh'yan. Or that would _never_ get finished.
That said, I think you have reserve chapters...so hiatus might not be necessary. Perhaps cut down updating to once a week?
As far as I can tell, the story is starting to really build now. It would be a shame to cut it off now, or in a few chapters when things are getting even more dramatic.