this is good TT better then what i can do

dirty thrash would be dirty trash;
it was a site would be it was a sight;
I would of have never guessed, of isn't needed;
She took the words out my mouth should be She took the words out of my mouth;
She was such a cute, and pretty girl, take out the comma;
once again, thrash should be trash;
again, site should be sight;
it was in a golden yellow except for the white in the center, what was in a golden yellow? can you describe it more? what shape was it?;
I don't see any danger near by; Why did she transform?, the Why should not be capitalized in the middle of a sentence;
that was our que to leave, should be that was our cue to leave.

You asked for us to correct any errors, these are what I found. Good story so far.

I think the show is Cardcaptors that you're referring to. Also, wouldn't this story be better in Manga and not Fantasy? But it's not off to a bad start.

Interesting story but you really need to brush up on your spelling. You only have a few grammatical errors.