|Reviews for Cedar|
| sammimcc1999 9/22/12 . chapter 2
I love this story! The characters seem real and you didn't over-detail everything. If you're anything like the main character, and lived in my town, we could be friends
| michachu 8/19/12 . chapter 1
Great job as always! Another great story, lot's of potential.
| Recontre Destinee 8/18/12 . chapter 1
Returning your review - thanks for the support for a hair-brained smoothie challenge. :)
I have to say, you have quite a memorable cast of characters introduced here! I'd love to see how their interactions grow and become more complex over the course of the story - it's got tons of great potential. There were quite a few interactions in this chapter where I was grinning as I read, so good job! One minor critique is that it's a little bland, particularly in scenes full of dialogue. If you're not able to describe the scene in more detail (because many of your descriptions here were just fine), then describe how someone was saying something. Rather than using "said," try something like "muttered," or "whispered," or "hissed." Not only does it break up the "he said, she said" monotony, it also conveys how the character said it and allows for a little characterization and description to sneak it without a lot of extra work.
Thanks for the read, I found this quite enjoyable. :)