The story is fast paced and has some really good ideas.
Some of the sentences don't make sense they way they are written which makes the story a bit harder to read then it should be.
My big suggestion is to get someone who hasn't read it before and doesn't know the story to read through before posting, this will let you know which parts need another look.
All in all though very entertaining.

The paragraphs are very run on and I couldn't get my mind around all the action, would you care to explain so I don't have to wade through all those words? But anywhos, it's really good.

Oh good

about Crystal and Andrew getting caught and Tom's mom being appointed to him magic?

Oh MY God!

Wow ,back 2 link but still...

You really have been playing too much Layton, haven't you? (or at least like the series so much, huh) I'm half-expecting the giant mecha-robots from nowhere now! So it IS getting a bit random and weird, but fast paced and exciting too! Keep it up!

Awesome story.

Very good! I really want to know what happens!
Just a note; when writing, try to avoid using numbers (e.g. 2). It is better to spell out the number instead (e.g. two). As I said, just a note.

Carry on with the good writing!

This story seriously needs more reviews.
You seriously have me glued to this story so you seriously need to update faster.
It's really exciting and well thought out and OMG star people but more description wouldn't harm the story.
Other than that, keep writing!

ooooh pick me! pick me!
i know what this needs.
a TWIST.
what if steve is working for the other side and was only pretending to be on his? all this saving him is a bit suspiciously easy... hmmm...
or maybe they are both falling into a massive trap and the antidote is actually a very slow acting venom... or something...
i don't know!
you're the author,
YOU think of something!
( btw this would make a pretty amazing spy film :)

is liking your style.
steve the awesome clever girl spy c;