|Reviews for Adventures of the Agency Kids|
| Guest 10/11/12 . chapter 7
I'm confused on Tru's feelings sometimes but otherwise, good job! I can't wait to see the the agency kids together!
| deepfathom 10/3/12 . chapter 5
So...when do we get more? ;)
| deepfathom 9/16/12 . chapter 4
You're making me wait until THURSDAY?! That's so not nice. ;)
| deepfathom 8/30/12 . chapter 2
There are a few things that bother me about this chapter.
First, I'm not exactly sure all these details about waiting in the terminal and the flight are really necessary. Unless there were important plotpoints introduced that come up later in the story, you may want to think about revising it a bit. And the whole thing with Tru meeting the flight attendent didn't strike me as very important and doesn't drive the story forward. Always remember to make sure to write with moving the plot forward in mind.
Second, you might want to think about taking out some of the side notes in the parenthises. They are very distracting and make it harder for the reader to understand what it is you're trying to say. They also make for some killer run-on sentences ;) I found myself feeling a bit breathless after reading some of them.
Keep in mind that these are only suggestions. This is your story and you can take them or leave them, but I'm willing to help you out where I can.
Keep writing! :)
| deepfathom 8/29/12 . chapter 1
Just one question: Are the other "agent kids" already in Italy or ar they in different places in Europe? Not sure if I just didn't read it right or what, but I was a little confused by that.
All in all, I'm excited to see what happens :)
| BexLove 8/29/12 . chapter 1
OMG, LUV IT! CANT WAIT FOR MOER!
| EllenaWords 8/29/12 . chapter 1
This seems a little forced.