|Reviews for The Last Golden Flower|
| Dai-Light 9/3/12 . chapter 1
I like the plot and the story so far is good! :) but it would be nice if you spaced out your lines . Also it was good so I wish the chapter would've been longer ;) well update soon !
| Anxious Axolotl 9/3/12 . chapter 1
You've done a good job at creating an emotionally charged scene, looks like a very promising start. I particularly liked the lines [ I have always wondered what it would be like if one day I am perfectly alive and happy, but the next I would be dead, and many years later everyone would forget the name "Summer Woods". But I would rather die with rememberance of the good times, then when all of my loved ones are grieving.], it makes her feel like a very ordinary character one could relate to, thought I would like to know exactly what she DID feel knowing she could go from being alive and healthy to being on her deathbed.
Maybe your formatting got lost on uploading this, but starting a new line for every turn of dialogue would really do wonders for this, it would look much more appealing and be easier to read. I'd also like to see a little more description, are they at a clinic, a hospital, or did the doctor do a home visit? What are the symptoms of this strange disease, how does it affect Summer? I hope you expand on these kinds of things more in later chapters, you're quite good with descriptions with lines like, [ a cool peppermint breeze finds it way through the window.] so I'd love to see what other details you could work in!
Will keep an eye out for later chapters, I'm very interested in how Summer will cover up her illness.