|Reviews for ASOBU|
| Katsurou Shimizu 10/14/12 . chapter 8
Hey, glad to see that you are back in your writing groove! I thought this chapter was kinda short, though the exchange between Ritsu and Hocho reminded me a bit of One Piece. Hmm, introduction of another quirky character. Update soon!
| Katsurou Shimizu 10/10/12 . chapter 6
I am reading this with a stupid grin on my face.
| Katsurou Shimizu 10/10/12 . chapter 5
The three eyes is like a bastard child of the gateway in FMA and the hole in Alice in Wonderland.
And the classic upskirt routine XD
On a random note, I am qualified Taekwondo Black Belt, but I'll get cramps from doing roundhouse kicks.
| Katsurou Shimizu 10/10/12 . chapter 3
I find that your prose style here to be simpler and more direct as compared to Soul Candy!, and the effect is that while it isn't as engaging, it's much easier to follow (plus you aren't using jumping POVs as well).
A few problems with the paragraphing lead to a bit of problems of pacing and even the effect of the slapstick humor. This could easily have been solved with a couple of line breaks. Like for instance, the BAM!
I like how your characters here are showing rather than telling through their mannerisms and humorous quirks. Believe me, many stories that I have read here can't seem to do that.
You deserve way more reviews than this.
| Katsurou Shimizu 10/10/12 . chapter 2
I only read two chapters I am already hooked XD
- Jim Kamikaze. Kamikaze? KAMIKAZE!
- the angel and devil thing reminded me of a Tom and Jerry episode I watched when I was a kid. Tom and the rival cat fight for Jerry. They agree to split the share by half, and while the rival cat was holding it down, a devil appears on Tom's shoulder and tempts Tom to whack the axe on that cat instead. Classic slapstick occurs (suffice to say I got some of my genes from there)
| Chiisutofupuru 9/21/12 . chapter 4
I hope to learn what's going on as I read more... keep writting!