Looking forward for the next chapter!

AAAHHH suspense. That boy was freaky.

Nice so far. Kind of fast paced. Also, it is spelled "site" not "sight" And yes, the arabic is a little silly sounding, I am assuming you typed in "I am going to help you" in a translator. It does not translate well lol. I shall read on :)

I really enjoyed your story. Not many people in our generation know much about Egyptian mythology. Other than a few grammatical and chronological order problems it was great!

In regards to your a/n-lol most egyptians look like the palestinians or gulg arabs, they get darker as it goes south near sudan. In fact girls living in the US of southern egyptian heritage call themselves "nubian princesses". Africa is a diverse continent and in fact there are tons of different skin shades, hair textures, ect. Look uo "Eritrean people" and then look up "rashaida of eritrea". The people are all beautiful! but the rashida look white, have blonde bair, and consider themselves completely Eritrean/African. Its fascinating because people consider africa the same throughout when it really isnt.

Also the story is fascinating keep it up :)

Ahh to be a writer means we have to be evil sometimes...hehehehe

Don't use arabic script without translating them into english. It isn't necessary. For example, instead of writing "عفوا يا سيدي، هل يمكنك أن تخبرني أين أنا" write "excuse me sir" I askedin Arabic "can you tell me where I am?". It seems as if you want to show off your skill for the language. unfortunately it only excludes non-arabic speaking/reading readers and creates a gap in the story.

heyy its really really good! you deffie need to continue! Not sure where it will go, though. But much promise, especially with your writing skills. Keep going!
Maybe when she uncovers the pharoah and opens up the coffin she looks at his eyes and suddenly gets transported back to his time, imprisoned in his castle thingy!

Halo. This is Rama Amourah, author and manager of a multi person account.
Your story was epic! And u know arabic? I approve, because I'm arab myself! (Though I live in america and am more fluent in english.) Keep on writing! and p.s: We have a story called: The Six Dimensions book 1 Pixellated. Check it out, will ya?