Freeverse with its lack of structure frees people up to write whatever they want regardless of whether it rhymes or fits itself to any paticular meter. This freedom often turns poems into a collection of bland lines. withoutht rhymes to please the mind or meter to propel it they become the poetry equivilant of a tweet (without any of the spontenaity, humor,etc) A good freeverse poem is filled with beatiful language/striking imagery (my opinion) and yours has none of that. Intead of a poem youv'e written the first few seconds of a speech, or rather the beggining of an 9th grade class presentation.

SWAG