|Reviews for A Macabre Love|
| Mrs. Christian 2/12/13 . chapter 2
Well done, great descriptive language use :-)
| Mrs. Christian 2/12/13 . chapter 1
I am intrigued by the character development.
Could use some editing in areas for clarity and use.
| Christina Potter 10/8/12 . chapter 2
Nice work, Selena! You've done a really nice job of establishing voice in this story, and of creating a likable assassin. :) Can't wait to read more! One suggestion: the two paragraphs where she's reflecting back on her last battle (with the three thieves) took me a minute to figure out...it might help if it read: "I had had to travel three weeks out..." (just to establish that this was the earlier battle). But it's looking good - keep going!
| P. Crabtree 9/24/12 . chapter 1
Great start, Selena! I like the suspense you build right from the start, and enjoy the star-crossed fatalistic foreshadowing, all pointing to a wonderful dystopian theme- devastating and tragic!
Even better, you have rare grammatical errors, a personal pet peeve of mine, mostly because they take me out of the story.
Nice work, so far, and I am anxiously awaiting the opportunity to read your next installment.p
| C.Potter 9/22/12 . chapter 1
Intriguing beginning! Can't wait to read more...
I was thinking, it might draw the reader in even more quickly if you start with either the "No one would approve of us..." paragraph or the "We were star crossed lovers..." paragraph. Then, you could continue the prologue in the same order. It would just help set up the tension even earlier. But that's just a suggestion. I think you do a nice job establishing a narrative voice, and I look forward to seeing the story unfold...
(I have a couple of small editing suggestions that I'll send you in a separate message...)