|Reviews for Shanghaied!|
| 16NavyWing 5/20/13 . chapter 4
Very well written, I am intrigued. I will read on... however, as I've stated before, you use character names too much I think. I understand we're in Zachs point of view in the moment, so you could throw in a few "He" 's every now and then. :)
Other than that, I love it!
| ZenaraTheDragon 5/11/13 . chapter 9
Well. The only things worse than puns are bad puns; the only things worse than bad puns are bad math puns.
Amazing descriptions of the transformation, the details are amazing, especially about the skin burning off. What a nightmare, with the monsters... Creepy.
| ZenaraTheDragon 5/11/13 . chapter 8
["You, two, Mognannon..."] should be 'too'.
Ha. Scratching under the chin, huh? Lol.
| ZenaraTheDragon 5/11/13 . chapter 7
A couple of things: [trainguloid], I think you meant 'trianguloid', and [queue] ought to be 'cue'. [Immanent], 'imminent', unless that was, indeed, the word you wished to use.
Damn, Jaynem's a cold-blooded sonofabitch! He needs to die. He just needs to die.
| ZenaraTheDragon 5/11/13 . chapter 6
The dragons' internal compass is a good idea.
I like how the 'click click' separates thoughts. I found it created something that drew me back to the scene instead of just a long mental ramble on Zach's part; it stopped it from being tedious.
| ZenaraTheDragon 5/10/13 . chapter 5
That's good, that they're at least humoring him. I'd love to see the look on Jaynem's face when Zach never snaps out of it or whatever.
| ZenaraTheDragon 5/10/13 . chapter 4
;w; Imagining baby dragon making that sound... Is so damned ADORABLE...
Growth-Spurt, huh? Cool.
| ZenaraTheDragon 5/10/13 . chapter 3
Welp. Jaynem's an ass. But he is a tyrant, eh?
I get the feeling Zach will straighten him out before long.
Great descriptions of the Link, and maybe it's best to avoid too many new words but I would've created a magical term for it. I just think that 'Link' is a kind of generic term for something so special.
| ZenaraTheDragon 5/10/13 . chapter 2
"Hatchlings are so darned cute..." IT'S SO TRUE! Much cuter than human babies.
I love the descriptions of the changes Zach notices, the eyesight and paws.
I... I don't really have criticisms. I love it.
Poor Zach, getting thumped on a wall and dropped not an hour out of the shell! )':
| RemnantsOfSyreal 4/20/13 . chapter 4
Did I sense a bit of irritation on Zach's part for being treated like a common draft animal? That's a nice touch. (and asshole made me laugh again, what can I say?)
'bring-wings-close muscles' - priceless
Hyde Street - I haven't been to San Fran in decades, zat one of the ones that runs with something like a 45 degree grade? I seem to recall a few of those close to the bay.
I all ready like Gazann. Is it wrong that I'm hearing Sean Connery? I haven't seen Dragonheart in about fifteen years but that's the first thing that pops to mind, shame on me.
-d'awwww... had me there for a minute. He's going on about how the hatchling is defective, that's rather a bummer. Granted, given his position, I imagine I'd probably feel the same way.
So I gather by the end of it that there is more to Gazann (and the spell that started this whole mess in the first place) than meets the eye. Very good. We've got lighthearted humor and the suggestion of depth early on. Liking it so far. Quite honestly, in my less goofy and more professional opinion, there's a market for something like this if you wanted to try your hand at the beast that is publishing. There are readers out there that would find this a relaxing change of pace, after all of the heavy fare that's been out lately. (mind you, heavy fare that you and I are both cracking away at with our main bodies of work ;) ) Worth considering, either way.
| RemnantsOfSyreal 4/20/13 . chapter 3
Right off the bat the first paragraph does a fantastic job of introducing the prince. And let me say, he seems... well, like a douche, really. Which, from what I can gather, is precisely the way he is supposed to read.
-let me amend that. Douche, aye, and a bit of a bastard. A fairly large bit, the further I go.
You know, it's kind of funny when you think about it for a moment. The dragon-rider subgenre or what-have-you is quite a bit prevalent at the moment, isn't it? Hell, even the Song of Ice and Fire is, at heart, a dragon-rider story, even if it's dolled up in a veneer of misery and f*cks as far as the eye can see. Reading something that turns that on it's head is an entertaining break from the milieu.
'ass first' - again you get a laugh out of me, that image is priceless. The image of the chaos of a baby dragon thrashing around, destroying priceless works of art is just perfect.
Something tells me the usual serenity with which our Crown Prince abides by is pretty much a write off. Granted, mind linking with a 16 year old teenage boy would tax even the most stoic of minds. I can remember what that was like, if I think back hard enough. Lol, if I had to link with my own 16 year old mind I'd probably shoot myself. I'm itching to know how well the prince handles it.
Again, this is entertaining as all hell.
| RemnantsOfSyreal 4/20/13 . chapter 2
IIRC, the time honored practice of illegal maritime conscription used to take place up here in Portland (yes, I live in Oregon, get all the jibes out of the way now, better?). I recall seeing some bit about how there was a whole network of tunnels underneath the city in order to move drunk/drugged men around quietly. Said folks would usually wake up aboard a seagoing vessel with a job to do, like it or not. Blargh. Not fun. Not fun at all.
Anywho, to the story!
'medieval-ish' - I laughed at that, genuinely.
Lol the realization of the difference in his size hit me right before I hit the paragraph outlining it. Eff that noise. Eff that noise hard. Not only does he get yanked out of the nice, comfy modern world and shoved violently into a dragon, but he's a frickin baby dragon? That's like adding insult on top of misery. Beautiful.
-and now I'm picturing being held up by my tail by someone who appears to be at least a hundred feet tall, and I swear I think I know how my dog must have felt once upon a time. May fate never be that unkind to me, praised be the gods.
I like how you've set about describing the manner in which he takes stock in his new body. I have to imagine suddenly having more limbs where there hadn't been before would be utterly bewildering, as you wouldn't exactly know what the hell to do with them right off, would you? That's certainly food for thought. The only thing keeping this from devolving into honest Body Horror is the consistent humorous tone, which, as I said, has remained consistent.
-and he retained the foresight to keep his mental mouth shut, once he realized he had one! See, now that's the kind of thing I think of when I think 'just what would I do in this very strange and not at all natural situation'? That's human reasoning right there, brilliant.
Good heavens, he's all ready three feet right after cracking loose of his shell? He's gonna be a mighty bugger, isn't he?
Okay, shelving the random ranting for a moment. Again, enjoyable. Well written, humorous, and it does a solid job of conveying the utter chaos and bewilderment that one would experience in the protagonist's shoes. Excellent.
| RemnantsOfSyreal 4/20/13 . chapter 1
'Zach wish was granted' - missing ye olde apostrophe/s there. *coughs* Sorry. *ahem* Moving on. Tally ho!
Okay, so far, love it. Entertaining, a bit terrifying (when you actually think about being in his position), and just generally fun to read. As you said, a bit lighthearted, but gods know we need something like that every now and again, a bit of a palate cleanser so to speak, a nice whiff of good coffee before we go back to sampling the perfumes. Okay, I think I strayed off topic there. Lousy metaphors. *jogs brain* Work damn you work! AHHHH!... all right, that didn't help.
Kidding aside, that was just fun. That's really all there is to say, and that's a high mark as far as I'm concerned. I'm moving my way forward to ze second chapter as we speak.
| 16NavyWing 4/17/13 . chapter 3
You know, I am not gonna lie to you...
I wish I had your talent and imagination. Honestly, you came up with one of the best scenarios I have ever seen. And it surprises me how original your idea really is. I wish you'd get this published somewhere, because it does deserve more credit than an online site. I've met a bunch of wannabe-authors that have the talent, but no drive or creativity. This story has potential, and is a very good read I must say, and you're a fine writer.
The only thing is, bring out your characters more. You've got the bones and nerves and muscle, now you have to flesh them out. :) I like where this is all going though, and I can't wait to read more when I find the time.
| Agent Daffodil 3/17/13 . chapter 7
I won't be satisfied with Jaynem's fate unless it involves him realizing what an asshole he is or him dying in the least dignified way possible. Why couldn't the flamethrower have hit him instead?
Not gonna lie, this chapter kind of made me want to be a dragon. Hm...but maybe not in Gherahjia.