Great attitude, and you've done a good job handling the rhyme scheme there - usually when people do rhyming couplets like that it feels forced and you get really tenuous rhymes or words that have obviously been thrown in to make the rhyme pattern work. You've avoided that nicely. You might want to look at using a rhythm structure as well to make it even tighter - looking at syllable beats in lines, if you have regular patterns of beats, that can be very powerful.