|Reviews for Burnt|
| leppalo 11/30/12 . chapter 14
Sweet little ending. Congrats on this story, I really enjoyed it. As for suggestions for your next story, I think it'd be better if you came up with it than us. It's just all the more glorious to write a good story on your own. But I'm here if you need more reviewing!
| leppalo 11/20/12 . chapter 12
Well, I'm glad I kept this story on watch because I'm enjoying it so far. My only complaint about it would be character development. We don't really know a whole lot about Rose, Luke, Avery other than they're Carmen's friends and that some of them were in an accident. Though, I think if done right, you could develop them in the last few chapters, without it being forced. But that's just advice. Write however you want as long as you are comfortable with it!
| A 11/5/12 . chapter 2
You have a great family. Most people dont put in the time and recgnition to writingthier thanks in fanfics, but Im glad you did.
(Oh, and sorry for flaming you last chapter!)
| A 11/5/12 . chapter 1
Wow, some chapter!
Joking! Great idea, but this 'chapter' is certainly small!
| Dodge Reid 10/15/12 . chapter 4
Chapter Two: I really like the way that you wrote about how Carmen handle's the shock. Nothing apparent, until it all becomes too much and her body makes her go to sleep. Another good chapter. Your writing is great. This chapter felt a bit rushed with a slower middle section when the paramedic tells the story about the mother- to take Carmen's mind off of what's happening, I suspect. But the rushed paced worked well, as it was a frantic situation.
Thanks for posting!
| Dodge Reid 10/15/12 . chapter 3
This is great! I really enjoyed reading and am looking forward to getting to the next chapter. Followed for sure.
My one critique would be the scene where the doctor tells her that her friend has died- unless it is a small town or something. That said, I work in a small town hospital and the only way I see a doctor saying that would be if the patient first asked about how their friend is doing. An out of the blue death noticed, I think would more likely come from a family member or friend, rather than hospital staff.
Again, great read. You have a great writing style that really drew me into the story. I love the bit about the richie-rich lady (but did notice that she left without getting her scone!)
| leppalo 9/21/12 . chapter 3
Great start to this story. I enjoy Carmen's personality in this and I'm a huge sucker for mystery. Please continue writing, because I want to see where this is going! And if you have extra time, check out my story called "Cylinder". I just finished it, and I need some thoughts on how it turned out. Keep it coming!