:( awww poor ariana! this is good though! pity is a powerful tool in writing and its great to use it on the protaganist (main character)
i thought trevors' reaction was very plausable and i kinda want to hit him in the face, but at the same time i completely understand where he's coming from. he feels like he has to distance himslef from ariana just to be safe. he wouldnt want to cheat on casey, that'd be awful. so in retaliation, he is pretending to have hated that kiss (that he totally loved!) to keep ari at a distance. so basically, hes afraid to get to close, which is honorable. hes a good guy, and that little action really shows his character. hes being a little cold to ari, sure but its for their own good. well, for now. but little do they know, they belong together! hehehe!
the discriptions in the beginning were beautiful by the way. wow, it was like i was there, running through the woods. this was a great example of using sight, smell, feeling, taste, touch and all those sences to describe a setting. nice work! on to the next one!
-steph135

When I read this story first, I think she got the situation like me. I like this page but I found some difficulties in reading. That's who is talking and who is listening. I can't understand but the conversations you used is really attractive. Thank you so much that is what I am looking for to read.

Great chapters! So she's bulimic then? Or like bulimic/annorexic? Interesting twist lol. Update soon!

XD (sigh) alrighty, i will start from the beginning and work my way through to the kiss :) hehehe.

awww, its so obvious that ari is jelous! i love that she denys it though. i almost feel like trevor is trying to get a rise out of her, just to see if she likes him. i dont know about that though, he seems pretty innocent so that might be out of character for him to have that kind of motive but still. i love that trevor never kissed casey and yet he was just fine with kissing ari! that was very...discriptive? lol thats okay though, i loved this chappie anyway. i kinda get why he was mad though. that was so great, plus it shows alittle bit more of his character. i love the ending to! wow! just so well said and a perfect little ender that showed ari's soft, more vulnarable (sorry, cant spell) side.

okay, this is completely random, but the phrase "saveed by the bell" comes in my mind everytime something happens that i dont want to adress, then the bell rings. it actually scared me alittle when i read that becuase i felt like that was me! anyway, awesome chapter! keep. on. writing. for. your. fan! XD
-steph135

This was really great! Please update quickly or else I'll get impatient... ;)

Great chapter!

Interesting view into the world of a teen.

So good:))

XD hehe...hehehehe!
im happy! this is awesome! im so glad he kissed her! even though it was in a friendly way, still! it helped to show ari that she definatly does not think of him as a friend. this is good, she needs to know. i like how when the story is told from ari's eyes, she constantly explains that she doesnt like him. shes in total denial and i love it :P you show that very well. i hope you keep gradually making ari think little things like this until eventually she KNOWS for sure that she likes him.

i love that puppy to! it's so cute! and it's great to do things like that in books. you know, throw a couple new elements in. the fact that he has a puppy can open up new doors and make a few more possibilities. lol that sounds so dumb typed out, but oh well :)

and her dad...i dont like him. i dont like him at all. hes another good element though becuase guess what? people like to feel bad for the protagonist of the story aka the main character. now she's got the readers sympathy! nice work my friend, im looking forward to reading more! ;P
-steph135

Hi!
This is really good!
I really like it!

okay. wow. wow. wow. soooo much i want to talk about, so i will start with the begining and work my way through. first of all, i feel bad for ari. there was a little character development in here for her, considering she realized that she was wrong and felt guilty. this showed her softer side. but like i said, no ones perfect, so im glad your not trying to make her that way. i think you should slowly ease her out of her selfishness though. it will make the readers feel kinda proud at the end to see how much shes grown, you know what i mean? another thing, i love alyssa's diologue! it shows her shallow, nieve, but caring character.

poor trevor! oh my gosh, i feel so bad for him! im glad ari was trying to help. it's great that she was able to forget about her self to think about him. i love how you are slowly showing little signs that ari likes trevor. your good at showing her crushing gradually, insted of an all the sudden "i dont like you, your my friend, now i like you." im soooooooooo glad it's not like that! i've read to many of those lol!

i have said this before, but i will say it again. i like ari and trevors dynamic :P juat felt the need to reiterate myself. im interested to know what kind of person sarah is though! hm... you should probably keep writing so that i can find out! heheheheheheh see how sneaky i am? lol anyway i am loving this! it feel short though. i think thats because i enjoyed it so much cuase this is atually a long chappie lol.

grammar\spelling

1."So I heard you were setting up Trevor Rushton?" Mary Bradley asked me right before lunch, flashing a flirty smile. Her possy followed her obediently." possy is spelled possie. i think thats what you meant, right? it's okay though. the only reason i know that is becuase im a dork who reads outlaw novels (and writes them)

anyway, that's all! thank you for posting today! it was awesome, and i can't wait for the next one! :P

-steph135

hello there! sorry this took a long time, i had to get off line and actually do homework lol. well, here goes...

first of all, i like the description Carly, i could see her perfectly. that was just great, and trevors reaction made me smile! another thing, i have to say, i was a little surprised at Ari's reaction to Trevor being more popular. i didnt know she was like that, but you know what? that's good. infact, it's great. characters are not suppose to be perfect, thats not the way it goes. so its awesome that shes got flaws! good for you! lol alot of writers dont do that. alot of writers make the main charater pefect and it's normally a person the writer wants to be...you want to know something interesting? every single character you write is a small reflection of yourslev...crazy, right? i dont mean to say your EXACTLY like Arevor or Ari or Carly or any of those people, im just saying that they all vary from a small, to a big percentage of you. how cool is that? :P anyway that was long rant, sorry.
back to the chapter. it's really starting to get interesting! esspecially the ending! its starting to get out of the introduction and it's coming into the rising action. basically when stuff goes down lol. .going! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHH! XD

grammar\spelling stuffs...i told you i would do it :P

1. ""Nope. I'm totally single. Why? Are you interested?" He waggled his eyebrows in that way he does when he makes fun of me for 'hitting on him' which I totally wasn't. But his eyes were tight." did you mean "right" instead of "tight"? anyway this was the only thing i found. nice job!
-steph135

Your style of writing is amazing! Keep up the great work! I felt like I was in the middle of everything.

hey, im here lol! and thanks for that little shout out! now onto the reviewyness! (i make up my own words)

i love it when you add alittle mystery to it, like when trevor is seemingly mad for no reason. i love it. here's something you should know about me, are you ready? i love action, drama and mystery. they are all so amazing! i even love little bits of it like the ones you had in this chappie. moving on, i think their little mud fight was perfect, and like i said before their little dynamic is perfect. i hate when people make two characters like each other when the dont even have simalarities or any kind of connection. this is different though, becuase these charaters have a solid connection considering it's only been three chapters.

i liked when trevor said "hey, that's my trade mark!" after ariana said, "whatever" :P (sigh) i love it. i enjoyed the part with trevors book to, oh my gosh was that interesting! it was also very plausable that ariana would want to read it. who wouldnt be curious? it's good when things in a story flow together like that becuase it makes it realistic.
i like also loved this paragraph- "Math was getting super boring. Usually I didn't mind it so much, but now I couldn't get images of the depressed woman in the other room out of my mind, or what the man who had been Trevor's father would look like. I imagined him with black hair like Trevor's, because he obviously didn't get his hair from his mother. I imagined him with broad shoulders and the same depressed eyes she had. I couldn't help but think of Sarah, and her thick, curly black hair. Unwanted images of her and Trevor cuddling invaded my mind, and it was bizarre thinking of him with another girl, it twisted my stomach weirdly." that begining was so creative and very well said.

okay, this review is so choppy and all over the place! im sorry, i really could not organise this but i hope you like it. the chapter length was perfect by the way! the writing was good to. the only probwas a few grammar\spelling things but dont even worry abou that, i have alot more then you do! the only thing you ahve to worry about is posting the next chappie so your little fan may read! POST CHAPPIE NOW! XD

hey! good job. your descriptions were very good here! there are not so many that the readers gets bored but there not so sparse that the readers can't picture it. with yours i can picture them happening in my head like a movie. you know what that means? it means its good lol! like i said before i love that i can relate with this person to. i feel bad for her with her dad and all but that's a good thing. when starting a story, it's good to give the main charater something negative in their life to make the readers feel pity for them. so basically pity is a good angle to work from lol :P i also liked the conversation between here and trevor. it felt real and i like their little dynamic. the only complaint that i have are that the chapter was alittle long and i feel like you could have condensed this into two chappies (i call chapters chappies, just a warning :P)
anyway, keep on writing!
-steph135