ooh this was good! i like how you described death as the start and how the main character didn't actually acknowledge it that much. death is always a good hook to a story... speaking of the story, i liked reading your descriptions because everything was detail, but you didn't overdo it. and and and i also like how you ended the story with, ironically, a sentence that says it will never end. i thought that was a clever idea. great piece of writing!

This was a really interesting read, I loved the opening, it pulls you in straight away. I did stop a teensy factual error in the second para - a quick death generally doesn't hurt. Car crash victims dont feel pain because their body is so traumatised by what's happening that their brain shuts down their nerve endings. Just thought I'd point that out on the off chance that you're a true-to-life nut like me, haha. And cos I'm the weirdo who knows morbid trivia like that.

You have a very smooth and finished style of writing, and there were no typos or anything that I could spot. The story flowed smoothly from one point to the next so it was easy to follow and intriguing until the end. Obviously you've done a good job with this :)

All the best, and keep writing,

-M.

Awesome story... put the chills in me. God bless.

Is it just me, or does it feel like 'Hotel California'? You can check in easily but you can't get out.

-Hermie