|Reviews for Abortion|
| Guest 10/14/12 . chapter 1
Death is morally wrong? Heh, death is a natural part of the world we live in. I think what you mean to say is murder.
| XIV.Xion 10/12/12 . chapter 1
Okay, I respect that everyone should be able to have their own opinions on subjects like this, so I will try to be civil with this. I noticed that there were a few things that you didn't mention, like the rape issue. If a young girl or woman is raped and then finds out that she became pregnant, I believe that she should be able to make the choice of whether or not she keeps the baby. Also, while I agree that many women who choose to have an abortion experience guilt, many mothers who choose to keep their child feel guilty if they give it up for adoption, or if they are unable to care for it. Even you wrote that it is truly the woman's right to choose to get an abortion.
| Nomorepain 10/6/12 . chapter 1
did you overlook the raping issue?
do you know how does it feel to raise the child of your rapist?
i guess not.
| not Ross 9/28/12 . chapter 1
While I agree that abortion is immoral, this essay could be made stronger and more powerful in several areas.
First, you started off with a sentence that sounded kind of like a thesis, which is never a good idea - and then that particular topic never got mentioned again. Also, you may want to say "killing" instead of "death" - we'd be jailing dead 80 year olds if death was morally wrong. That is a very amusing mental picture for me, hahaha. The first paragraph was generally pretty good, and so was the second.
In the third paragraph, I'm not sure it was the best idea to start with the mental health thing - I think you should have started with the physical health. That point about stretching a lot faster was actually very interesting and something I had never considered before. It's always a good idea to start a paragraph with your strongest point (and if you ask me, I will say that no point about emotions or feelings in a strong point. I'll get back to that). You also say that there is "twice the chance of a miscarriage..." etc. etc, but you never say what the base line is. Twice the chance than what? When you're NOT pregnant? Yeah, it would be pretty hard to have a miscarriage when you're not pregnant... haha, anyway, those stats didn't really seem to support anything anyway, so it may just be easiest to take them out. *shrug*
And, like I said, I don't believe any point about emotions or feelings is a strong point. It's true, abortions are mentally challenging on all parties involved (particularly the fetus haha), but it's probably not the best thing to put in an argument. Lots of things make lots of people sad, but that doesn't mean they're illegal. Wealth distribution (higher taxes on the rich, no taxes on the "poor") makes me sad, but it is obviously not illegal. You also say that it IS in fact the woman's right to decide - well, isn't that what you're arguing against? Also, from the eyes of someone who would like to have your head for being against abortion (once again, I'm role-playing there), that last fact about fathers becoming criminals is preeeetttyyy, um, weak. Reaching. Frankly, I don't find it that hard to believe, but something super-controversial like that, you need evidence to support.
I think you should have capitalized on some different things that you mentioned, but didn't make a big deal of. The first sentence about KILLING (not death. Haha) being morally wrong was good, and I think one of the pro-choice people's biggest arguments is that abortion is not actually killing. Thus, the obvious rebuttal would be to prove that it IS killing (which is easy: a fetus has different DNA from its mother because of the process that happens during sexual reproduction. And you can expand on that). The last sentence would also be a great thing to capitalize on. Once you've established that abortion IS, beyond a shadow of a doubt, murder, you can take the tact of, "Why should one person get murdered for the convenience of another? You know, the boy who sits in front of me at school wears too much AXE cologne. I think I'll stab him in the chest at lunch today." Which of course is absurd. Something like that. Oh also, "it has many disadvantages and unconstitutional" makes absolutely no sense... "Constitutional" is an adjective, so... I'm confused. If you're trying to say that abortion is unconstitutional, either don't do it, or back it up, maybe even with a direct quote from the Constitution.
Two more quick things: using "I think" in an essay weakens your points. Don't be afraid to take a stand and say, "Abortion is morally wrong." Even if people disagree with you, the smart ones will respect you for your confidence (and the dumb ones will throw tomatoes at you, but you won't care because you'll know they're dumb). The second is that an essay, especially one like this, should have a call to action at the end. Okay, that was some good information, now what do I do? Do I go burn the nearest abortion clinic? ...Probably not... although I guess if you REALLY wanted, that could be your call to action. It'll probably be more along the lines of "Go vote against abortion" or something. An essay, no matter on what topic, always needs a universal statement or a call to action at the end.
All in all, you know what you're saying and you know what you believe, you just need a little work on how to communicate it effectively in a way that will make other people think. It's really great that you write these at all, because this doesn't seem like it was for school (at least, most people mention when it is; idk why), and so I'm glad I'm not the only breathing human being who writes essays for fun! Keep up the good work; argument is a very difficult skill. :)
| Robert Orville Berkshire 9/28/12 . chapter 1
Not a very convincing essay. I can immediately think of a few problems with it.
First, brutality is subjective. One might argue that surgery is brutal. After all, it involves cutting people open and then sewing them back together.
Second, about the "risks" of abortion: you do realize pregnancy has health risks, too, right? Complications and postpartum depression. They occasionally cause deaths. Also, driving and gun ownership contain inherent risks. Should they be outlawed, too? The medications you speak of that can prevent pregnancy also contain risks. Condoms are the only harmless method I can think of, and they can easily tear.
In your conclusive paragraph, you mention abortion is "unconstitutional". It'd be nice if you had expanded upon that idea.
Also, what if a woman is "not ready to start a family with kids," but is raped? Should abortion still be outlawed in that case? And if not, why allow the taking of that "life" and not others?
| Soulless havok 9/26/12 . chapter 1
'If a woman is not ready to start a family with kids, then do not get pregnant.'
What about rape victims? What about teenage pregnancies? Rapists don't give you a choice and teenagers are stupid, impulsive kids with a newfound sex drive. I'd be willing to bet that any sixteen year-old girl carrying some pig's child (high school kids can pigs, too) would not be able -in any respect- to care for a kid. Trust me, a child born to an impoverished lifestyle doesn't have much of a chance. They don't have much that they can lose before their life is endangered, so arguably (in some cases, not all), abortion WOULD be the more humane route.
Back on track, though, shouldn't the victim of a sexual crime be allowed a way out of this? Shouldn't they have the chance to live their lives without being forced into so dangerous a situation?
The human condition is fragile and a pregnancy like that can be just as destructive as an abortion. You cover guilt, but what about self-esteem? Why should a rape victim be forced to go through with something she didn't even consent to? Why should she be forced to risk her life because of someone else's actions? Sure she'd be sterile (or unfit for later pregnancies), but she'd be alive.
Contraceptives are never 100% guaranteed to work, sorry. There is no way to 'make sure' that the sperm never reaches the egg. Just a way to establish reasonable comfort in the belief that that situation was in fact avoided.
Abortion is unconstitutional, huh? When something is unconstitutional, it obscures the constitution -which at this moment in time, supports all human rights. That includes defense, speech, religion, family, and choice. Choice. Something which no one -not you nor I nor God- can take away.
I could go on, but I'm just going to leave before I start calling on my more colorful vocabulary.