|Reviews for Astro-A-Go-Go|
| Jave Harron 10/13/12 . chapter 1
I do quite enjoy your retro space opera stories. A casino heist meets spy fi in space was a pretty entertaining short story (especially with a female protagonist). The main character and some of the antagonists were competently developed (at least the Cobra). One of the more interesting groups, though, the gorilla thieves, aren't covered as much as I'd like. The metaphors are well done and top notch, although the pacing with some of the action scenes felt a bit off.
| Auel The Winter 9/30/12 . chapter 1
I applaud you on this magnificent piece, and I'm going to get into why in this review. I've divided the pros and cons into categories.
Description: Holy mother of space pirate! Your diction and use of imagery is really something else. What I truly appreciated was the vivid pictures you created using the setting itself. If you were to ask me what was my favourite example of this, I would tell you it was when the Death Claws shot the slot machines, causing "a blizzard of money, light, heat and neon fragments - a mad kaleidoscope of brilliant colors." Now, the cons of this depth of description is that if you are writing a fast paced scene, you may bog down the reader in the setting of what is happening rather than the action itself. You should really keep using your talents with description, but less often when they don't serve an important purpose.
Grammar: I take it that you proof read your story well, because I only ran into two instances where I had to re-read; I think you misspelled "cat" as "car". Other than that, I think you've done a great job.
Conflict: In Astro-A-Go-Go, there was always the risk of death, so physical conflict was not an issue. Rather, it could have been more interesting if there was more conflict between characters who weren't enemies, like Kord and Harvie. Adding psychological conflict because of self interests is a great way to reveal character, and it makes them look more defined rather than being minions of Violet.
I'm quite impressed by this story, but I don't want you to be flattered by my review, because everybody can do better. For your next story, remember: be selective when using a lot of description and add more conflict than just physical. Other than that, I think you have a writing ability worth being proud of.
Thanks for the story.