Ooh, intriguing. I agree that it does require capitalisation (It just looks more professional) but seems a little like Alice in Wonderland turned into a gothic ghost story.

Sorry if my reviews are a bit unhelpful, poetry isn't really my forte, I'd like to do you some justice but I really can't.

I get that this a poem, but capitalization would've made your story a smidge better. Still doesn't do anything to the point of the poem, though.

-Hermie