|Reviews for College with a Twist|
| chronodekar 11/12/12 . chapter 1
Interesting theme. Have you considered a beta reader?
I do not see any obvious grammar or spelling mistakes, but there is a lack of fluidity in the story flow. One way to visualize it, is that I end up pausing after reading a bit.
That is NOT how a good story should be written. What you need to aim for is writing that's so compelling that it makes the reader just keep on reading.