Pssht no. I know you and your stores well enough to know that you're not going to make her a worker. Haha.

She'll probably end up as a Traveler. I wouldn't mind being one, at least, lol.

-coco

Ok, so I did read the rest and it gets better :) I guess because most of those little things just aren't there. I'm sorry I tend to overthink and focus more on things maybe I shouldn't, but I REALLY like original cultures, but I like to see them done well even more ;) Your dialogue is typically very good, and the characters have well defined personalities.

I noticed in one of your review replies that you said you haven't read "The Giver". I highly recommend it as you continue this story, it's not a terribly long book and has some very similar concepts. Maybe it will give you some ideas on how to improve your own work, or ways that you can make yours more unique.

It's an interesting premise so far, I'll read at least another chapter before I decide for sure what I think.

The concept of this culture is really interesting to me, and I appreciate you trying to make such ideas into a more modernized story but the specific combination of these new customs and a world that is very obviously not all that different from our own just feels kind of forced and uncomfortable. I feel like if this is to work, you have to change the rest of the world more drastically because at the moment the two just don't fit.

Or perhaps I'm just visualizing it wrong. For example, her mother cooks for the village, yet still cooks breakfast for the family? That seems a little backwards. My first impression of this society is that they would care for the needs of the whole group before the individual, otherwise what's the purpose of telling youth what they can and cannot do. Then there's the thing with romance novels; by all rights "romance" in this culture should not exist as we know it because all marriages are arranged. The governing forces would likely burn such books because they would fill the heads of the youth with "silly" ideas. I could go on, but I hope I've made my point.

As I said, I really do like what you're trying to do here, but you need to put some more effort into the details if you're trying to take your readers to a different world. The basis of your ideas is pretty solid, and I can see the plot moving smoothly on that alone, but it's these little things that are really bugging me.

Mmmm but he seems sort of like a jerk in this chapter. Still confuse though -.-

He is too adorable! And awesome! He stayed calm and stopped the branch from hitting Cindi in the face! While holding her books! He is so amazing!

Amazing chapter! I can't wait to find out what happens next! I love how each chapter hast the word "me" in it. It's interesting.
Keep up the amazing work! :) (:
Tarah xXx

Oh Beth... I love how she just orders him around..

Amazing chapter! Oh Beth... XD
Have you read Hidden (HoN) yet? ... AMAZING! that's all I can say. Sorry... did I say that yesterday? I honestly don't remember. XD
Keep up the amazing work! :) (:
Tarah xXx

Darren and Cindi are so cute! So are Beth and Anthony! I cant wait to see where Cindi gets placed. I totally think she'll get placed as a warrior :D Darren is so adorable in the socially akward, kinda tough guy way! I mean he did stand up for Cindi!

Woah. Mind blown! Darren seems so sweet, he just doesn't know what he feels.. I think lol nice chapter

Love it. :) This is very well written!

Lol. I love Darren better than Anthony. :) Happiness.

This Chapter wasn't very packed with action, but it was a very good. It tells us a lot, and foreshadows that Cindi will not be a Worker.

I can't wait for the next chapter! Happy writing! 3

-coco

Awesome chapter! I wonder what the fight is about... I supose I'll have to wait and see...
Keep up the awesome work! :) (:
Tarah xXx

Darren's so cute. I'm liking him more than Anthony now, for some reason. Haha. I'm sure Darren and Cindi would make a cute couple.

-coco

OMG! The romance in this chapter was freaking amazing! I love that Darren stop up for Cinid! That was soo sweet! And Anthony and Beth wanted to be alone? Ah! Drama!1