Lemme just... lay down here... I totally didn't need my heart, ya know? Just gonna let it bleed there on the ground. Nah, it's cool, it's fine... I'm good... I'm good. Yeah.

That first part genuinely horrified me. Like some sort of demented cannibalism. Yeesh. And now I'm all worked up for the rest of the story. Which is probably exactly what you wanted. SO.

Loving the space opera vibes I'm getting from this so far. I like the apparent complexities to Zerachiels character as well as the more subtle complexities of Langley. Only 2 chapters in so far, but already loving the writing style and characterizations. Your world building is nicely done without info dumps and it feels very real and tangible. I am already feeling a connection to both of the main characters and have a desire to continue reading in order to learn more about them and follow their story.

At the beginning of this chapter, it occurred to me that if Rune was going to treat the new Azi like crap, then he was going to turn INTO the old Azi, with the tortured-past-abused thing going on. I'm glad things didn't have to go that way.

Another thing that occurred to me this chapter, mostly because of Rune's musings, is the possibility of Uriah being a puppet who had a bad relationship with his first master. After all, if he was the first puppet, maybe he wasn't as human as Z and Azi, and...and lots of things. I think you promised to explain Uriah, so I'm looking forward to that and seeing if I'm right.

And I hope Rune decides to say in a relatively healthy mindset. Hopefully Azi will help with that.

The lyrics at the beginning of this chapter have always made me stop and think, so I was glad to see them in here, and I think they fit Rune pretty well, so there's that.

CHILD THAT WAS NOT FAR.
NOT ONLY DO YOU BREAK MY HEART IN THE PREVIOUS CHAPTER, YOU GOT TO GRIND IT DOWN INTO PIECES IN THIS CHAPTER.
UM, CAN YOU NOT?
*sob* Rune, god, you were such an asshole, I felt bad for yuoouuuu.
Please fix Azi. Please? For me? Please?

So, no Azi? The Azi in Z and Frank's time is different then the one we've had? I was not expecting that, which kind of pleases me from a writing perpective. And I feel really bad for Rune.

I don't even know what else to say. I'm sorry. Just. I can't wat for more, which is pointless for me to say.

The presents / Azi thanking profusely (vivid vocabulary) / even generousity being part of Rune's selfishness, for he was enjoying Azi's happiness... that's cute.
The kiss - yay, a present is a fine and dandy reason for the icebreaker.
The foreshadowing - reminds me of a Playstation 1 game's, Suikoden I, Gremio's death arc. Man, when your loyal servant and childhood friend with a touch of mysticism tells you to stay out of this one, don't go.
Is it wrong that negotiating with the warlord reminds me of Jabba the Hut? P
I can see Ari /wanting/ to do this gesture of sacrifice, but I have a hard time picturing him finding the exact right moment to streak in, plus navigating alright on a world suspicious of Puppets, and also getting past the guards that are on standby.

*camps* P Good wishes during midterms; come back fresh, but do come back.

S. H. Marr's review of Chapter 17 says there's little difference between a rapist and a fantasy rapist. I do give the character credit for not acting out the reality or even wanting to commit the reality.
Though rape and "but he/she enjoyed it" is my biggest peeve and trigger, I get the way most stories intend it. It's supposed to be hot that "he wants me so bad /no matter what/". In yaoi it's practically a rite of passage when your seme (or a bigger, badder seme than you) takes you by force. *SIGH*

That said, I totally get Rune, and him having this fantasy while giving the real Ari his space expresses his personality perfectly.
Forbidding himself to apologize completely fits his traits from living tough. Poor Ari, he's "shrinking back" when we see him but still has the nerve and devotion to "fuss over" Rune at other times anyway.
I loved all Ari's thoughts. Some writers have the problem where all personalities/voices smear together. You really captured this sheltered pet. There's too much liked overall for me to pick out individual sections.
Yeah, Ari's my new favorite over Zerachiel, but I still treasure both artificial people.
Favorite line: "Master Rune...please forgive me, but...but you've never given me any reason...to think otherwise." There ya go. :D
"The conversation" and "love", I agree with the reviewer that the word "love" comes as a surprise. Crave, treasure, fever over - those things fit. In my mind, this IS what love means to Rune, the best he's capable of from his parents' selfish, dysfunctional marriage in his childhood and me-only lifestyle in exile.
Ari's revelation is even bigger than Rune opening up. A slave so submissive in his true heart that his master's word is the fabric of the universe. So that's deep when a master can make a faithful self-aware person say "I have no feelings or soul."
Master Arden getting so feverish over an "it" - obsessing on Ari but still thinking of him as a mere flawless doll, but /still/ putting that doll above your family? Arden gets the Most Screwed Up Award over all the men so far. (The females who get camera time, especially Tokine, looked way rational and decent.)
One thing quirks me. Ari's three dreads when "barbaric" Rune first arrives is "life is over", then menial labor, then the actual rape. It just amuses me that menial labor is right up there with the other two. And that attending to both masters does not count as menial.

Long chapter was not a chore to read. It was a treat. I hate having no more to read. 3

Rune is more jaded than any other character I've met when he takes in the "impersonal" luxury. You really contrast with his glimpse of Azi for the first time in X years.
Their meeting is sour indeed... I know how awful it is to build up a picture, have it come true, but then it's horribly wrong.
I love the two paragraphs from "Have you been staying here since" and "I didn't know what else to do." It's tough for non-submissives like Rune to get that dependency and lack of direction.

Several times the question of a doll being a "person" comes up, and you compare the puppet not just to dolls but to ghosts and phantoms. Dolls makes sense, so to you ghost and "insubstantial" must be the next logical level up. Not only too beautiful to be a 'person' but too beautiful to be physically part of this imperfect world, eh?

So much seething and hostility from Rune. It's amazing that Azi was even able to kick during all this instead of just yield and whimper.

Yeah, now Rune/Ari is what fierce 'you belong to me' love looks like - in a /good/ way. Even that brutal kiss was all good for the sub.
If I didn't say it already, the fact that there are so many races, and they're not a big deal except for quirks or the particular frightful wartime propoganda, AND they're not described when they arrive (only quirks when it matters like "Nolians have no eyebrows") - really make this a neat universe to roam in. (I just learned the definition of Space Opera is that personal conflict takes front stage and scientific details is just the dressing. Bingo, yours is perfect example.)
Esau comes across as quite the snake. And I double-checked his biblical history, and what a cool addition that he really is a progenitor of a line and also did try to murder a brother. *smirk*

*belated addition*

Uriah - Now, even though I groove on belonging-love and cherish-love (like a collared sub or witch's familiar) and even obsession-love... Uriah is still creepy. *heart/squirm* Anytime your beloved keeper pulls your hair even though it bothers you and compares you to a pinned butterfly, those are not good symptoms. u_u Next line says it all: "Never leave this room. You don't need to do anything else." You really captured ultimate love-fantasy and ultimate deplorable-fate in one.

"I understand why you didn't tell me," that Lyn was an Emporial candidate rather than deceased. That Langley was just another outsider left out of the loop instead of a knowing parent with one slim hope to hold onto.
You express Tokine well for her point of view to show through. Instead of the mean person who shut Langley out, she had all the hardship she could withstand. "I thought I might be able to handle it better if you were there. But you weren't."
What contrast between "higher calling" and "none of his efforts made a dent in the war". I like that the more Langley is praised, the more guilty he is for not deserving it.
What a righteous moment when Zerachiel points out the harms of the empire. Seeds of rebellion and foreshadowing.

Zerachiel is being cold again, and I particularly enjoyed "hated children of all kinds" and "had, mercifully, stopped crying." I picture that as the difference between beings created whole and as adults, with no developing stages. (Then we find out Ari doesn't feel that way about children...*smile*)
Nice tug connecting Z to Langley, "saving lives, protecting people... even you."
The story of Mala sure explains a lot! Disobedience, trying to save one person no matter what else happened in the battle, complacency with his current place in life, there it is.

Hi again! Same Guest from 1/23, chapter 11. I tried to let some time go by so that I get to enjoy a feast rather than bites. I actually came back between 17 and 18, and I was so hooked on Ari that I was checking my bookmarks three times a day to find out how Rune bridged the difference between 16 hurtful, 17 standoffish, and present-day adoring.

Ch12 - Zerachiel's /loathing/ comes through so incredibly it /broils/. So well written and transmitted.
Two points stand out, the bitterness where all his achievements and gains mean nothing, and "If you understood my desperation", oh my.
The grinding was hot, and so was the rest. Tough guy for pushing yourself, Zerachiel!
Lol to "He /had/ been moving, just not the way Langley wanted."
And Langley announcing about his wife was the turning point... First reaction: for his saying that, especially /during/, someone needs to hack the transparent/opaque outer wall and hurl Langley off the whateverth floor! *snarl*

Your shout-out made my week! You can mail madxartist - aol (I hear spelling your email correctly gets it picked up for spam lists, so you get the idea.)

Well, it's 2 in the morning and I have just finished the most current chapter of your story here. Let me just say, wow. Um, I don't read a lot of sci-fi, and when I do, it has to be something really elaborate to capture my attention. So, for one, good job on that front. Because this is great, really freaking awesome. I mean, the amount of detail and attention you've put into this shows your dedication. Good freaking job, friend. You are going places, let me tell you something.

I only ask that you please, please finish this story. I've seen too many wonderful things go under because nobody had the good sense to say so. So I implore you to continue :) You've got a fan in me, honey.