I dunno; it's been a while since I've gotten a review from you ;) Not that that's why I review or anything.

I don't think I'll be much help right now. I got to go see Muse last night, so am thoroughly distracted by that and your choice of lyrics. And my own twentieth birthday is apporaching rather rapidly, and I kind of wish I would get anything so nice. Or something I wanted as much as he wanted that, anyway. Azi's not really my type.

Rune is slowly getting better and more sympathetic. Don't know if I properly trust him yet, but he's making progress.

Awww, how cute. Azi, get better! I'm assuming from Z that puppets don't really have any special healing abilities. But you never actually described where the sword hit Azi. For all we know, it could be his leg (you might want to clarify that, actually. "Body" isn't helpful. "Torso", perhaps?)

I hope you update relatively soon. I want to know how Rune deals with this and gets them both out of there.

I'm not going to argue against the length. I enjoyed it. :)

I dunno about the beginning. I wasn't sure if it was a flashback or not at first, and...and I don't know. I'm not sure someone who fantasizing about raping someone is much better than a rapist. Rune has some serious making up to do,and I don't think he's there yet. Not for me, anyway.

I liked the conversation with Azi. It seems very realistic. And I also really liked the flahsbacks, although...seems a bit weird that Rune has decided that he "loves" Azi. Well, not that he decided that. I'm just not convinced it's actually /true/ yet.

Some spacing errors here. I think they were supposed to be italics and something got screwed up in the process.

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW WWWWWWWWWWWW

I love them.

Hmmm. Not sure I really like Rune at the moment. I suppose they'll probably change each other, which will be nice.

Poor Azi.

I was wondering how puppets were told apart at the beginning of this chapter. I'm glad it was explained this chapter, too.

I want more of Run and Azi! I just hope you don't forget about Z and Langley while you're writing them.

uriel is super duper creepy /: glad frank finally saw through z's prickles...

uhhhh
uhhhhhhhhhhh
uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

ok o_o

omg when the emperor was said to be young, I KNEW. and then I didn't breathe for the rest of the chapter. OMG. lyn aw omg lyn he just needs a cuddle :((( frank is such a sweetie, but in that chapter with the piano I was just kind of thinking "...well that escalated quickly" Z is cute as well, can totally understand where he's coming from, he honestly thinks he doesn't like frank aw and when uriel (?) spoke through him so heartbreaking aw aw and Prakash aw he's not going to see his kid until he's ten :((( that is so sad omg :(

/Finally/ we get some insight into Z's head. It's been an awful long time in coming, considering what a major character he is and we have had some forays into his perspective. We had that, but we didn't know a thing about him.

Also, Uriah is possibly the creepiest person I've read in a long while. Ew. I hope Z chopped his hir off as soon as he got the opportunity.

Hi there! It’s Zan/uwanosorade :D Once again, sorry that this is so late, but if you remember anything about me from the YWS era, it’s that I am late with reviews every single time, so… not a lot has changed!

All right, no further ado, it’s essay time :D

I. Plot
Wow I’m actually not very good at commenting on plot, I feel like I can’t deliver much in the way of real critical evaluation this early even though we’re apparently near the end of the first arc, because I’m no good at talking about it. XDD But think things have been flowing pretty smoothly so far, and I was definitely surprised by the big reveal a few chapters ago about what really happened to Langely’s wife and son. I wasn’t expecting it, but I don’t think you have to worry about it being too far out of left field, either—I think it’s just on the right level as a twist. Anyway, it looks like conflicts and stuff are all going to be coming together and moving in a big way in the next few chapters, and I’m really looking forward to that!

The one issue I have is that, although we’re just getting started and, like you said, we’re still in the first arc, I’m not feeling too much of an overall driving force in the plot yet…. Like, there isn’t really a sense of urgency. On Langley’s side, I think that works just fine—until he finds out about his son, after all, he’s just sort of wasting away his days out in the Periphery, kind of killing time/angsting, and that totally works for his character and what we’ve seen of his arc so far. I do think Zera’s side of the plot could use more of a sense of urgency though—after all, this is a character whose life might be literally ticking away, who knows that his hours might be numbered, and I think it might benefit his story if that were brought up a little more often—it’s already brought up a couple times, but we don’t get too much of a sense of his consciousness of it.

II. Worldbuilding
I have seriously never been so interested in fictional aliens before.

I mean it.

I saw you mention on tumblr the other day about how you really think the Empire and its outlying regions has the potential to be the “sandbox world” for you and I think you might really be onto something. All of the different concepts for non-human societies you’ve brought up here sound really fascinating. I think I’m particularly interested in the Chesbennings; like, I’m fascinated by the idea of how culture and society would function for a species that had telepathy—how would a society work where no one can lie to each other? It sounds so interesting! The selection process for Emperor—all the fear and backstabbing and danger that must be involved in an environment like that—sounds absolutely fascinating too, I would read a story all about that in a heartbeat, and I’m really curious to see any glimpses of how it built and influenced Lyn’s character. I’m actually really curious about the political structure of the Empire in general, actually—and I pretty much never get interested in this kind of worldbuilding, so that’s… that’s a big deal. XDD

But the stuff that’s considered in depth on page is really fascinating, too! Particularly the setup with the puppets and the stellarnet, and how it connects to the Empire and how Uriah is involved. And I can sense that the story is building up to a deeper examination of the Kwithinites and the war and their culture and I seriously can’t wait.

III. Characters
Okay, here we go! Zera’s a good lead, and I really like the way his narration can so often work in contrast with the face he presents, how it reveals his frustrations and ambition in a way that he doesn’t show to the other characters. I think his bet with Uriah and the conflict with himself as a puppet and himself as a person is really interesting, and I think it adds really good conflict, and I can’t wait to see it develop further and give us a chance to learn more about him.

Langley is an interesting character as well, and I’m finding him a lot more interesting and sympathetic as his backstory develops. I think his guilt as he struggles to deal with the past failures in his life is really well explored so far.

Let’s see… I know that I love Dr. Singh because anyone who types “:3” after bringing the power back in the middle of a battle is a friend of mine. Uriah seems to have all sorts of suitably creepy antagonist potential. Like I said, I’m really curious about Lyn and I seriously can’t wait to find out about how the selection process for becoming Emperor has shaped him. Also Tokine seems really cool and I can’t wait to meet her and learn more about her next chapter.

Since I brought up Zera’s whole countdown clock situation before, it occurs to me, suddenly, in the course of writing this review, that there’s a really fascinating contrast in the character arcs of Zera and Langley and Dr. Singh so far. Like, both Langley and Dr. Singh are basically in this situation where they’re kind of wasting their lives away, just killing time, whereas Zera might be in the opposite situation; his time is running out and he’s fighting to accomplish things and change things and make things happen before it’s too late. I really find parallels and contrasts worked into different character arcs to be fascinating (as you’ll probably see if I ever force you to sit through the drivel that is Assembly XD) so I’m really interested in that aspect of their storylines. I think the contrast integrates their stories really well.

IV. Dialogue
One of the first things I noticed that I really liked was that I definitely feel like each character has their own, easily identifiable voice when it comes to the dialogue—I definitely didn’t feel like any line could be delivered by just any character, and I think the voices of the dialogue did a great job of giving us insight into characters immediately.

I do notice that occasionally, especially during arguments and confrontations, the dialogue can get a bit wooden, though. The arguments between Zera and Dr. Singh in chapters 5 and 6, in particular, don’t seem to read quite naturally to me (for example, I find it kind of hard to like, hear someone saying “foisted” when they’re mad enough to lose control of themselves and start shouting… does that make any sense? I dunno if that makes sense. XDD)

Anyway! I’ve really enjoyed these first thirteen chapters even though I’m lame and slow and never get anything done. XD See you next chapter? (I hope, like I said, I’m going home for the month, and with a 16 hour time difference stuff can get overlooked, so I might be a bit late again ;;)

Like it so far. The world, the backdrop, and the technologies are decently-fleshed out as far as FP sci-fi goes.

You know, you said similar things about the...other story, with Shrike and Cardinal and Egret. And I don't recall ever getting an update in that since *Bids Plug in Baby farewell*

Also, Z, what the hell were you thinking?

Ah, space opera with Muse background music ! What a perfect combination.
Zerachiel drives me insane for no good reason. His character is just so perfect and I adore the idea of the Puppet system and I just KNEW Lyn was SOMEWHERE and I was WAITING to figure it out. Emperor is much better than what I'd had in mind, I'd thought his mother had killed him for some odd reason...

Men are stupid. Stupid, stpid, stupid, particularly in fiction. And then they go and hut themselves and I feel bad for them anyway.

Z, you're /being an idiot/. Langley, /what is wrong with you/? Who even /does/ that?

Confusion: when is Langley going to see his ex? You mention that they're returning to the station the next day. But. Visiting? I'm confused.

You ifloored/i me. I can't remember being shocked at a twist or caring so much about characters since Artifice yaoi comic, also a space opera.
The custom of severing ties by "death", that's incredible.
Culling the best and the brightest of the generation who fell short of first place - that sounds like a waste but I guess it prevents them from becoming dissenters and post-coronation resistance?
Yay, Lyn! *waits to see more of Z*
Yay for giving him a name that sounds like a seraph ending in -el, and Uriah is probably from catalogue of angels too. Yay for all the Muse titles and intros too.

If I don't catch the updates or review again, Happiness and good life