You seem to hit your stride near the end of the chapter. Not that the start isn't good, I just felt like once the pacing picked up and the action hit, the writing just got a little stronger. Overall, I really liked this chapter, and you have a nice balance between description, action and dialogue. You introduced Roland quite well, and there wasn't too much telling. The prose itself flowed quite nicely, and the ending worked well. I like the dialogue, and it really adds to the characters and their personalities. Again, good use of showing rather than telling. Good stuff.

I read the opening like three times just because I loved it so much 3

Another master piece from you. Keep up the good work. I am actually on chapter four and I love Eliah and Rolland and when I am done I'm going to leave you a well structured review.

Looks like it's getting to the more interesting part now. I wonder how the fight against Morinth will go. Also, the interaction between Roland and Eliah is sort of entertaining. The type of relationship isn't anything too original at the moment, but you handled it pretty well.

Ugh...cliff hangers. I hate'em! Thanks for the good read! I look forward to the next chapter :D

Wow. So good! Morinth...really must you be so violent! I can't wait to read more!

Good chapter! Sorry it took me so long to catch back up. I loved Eliah the entire chapter through! Her attitude mixed with Roland's is perfect chemistry!

Pretty good so far! You have a nice ensemble of characters! Looking forward to the next update! :)

Iyah, Jax-nee, I was planning on doing something else, but I couldn't stop reading this once I starteeedddd! Jax-nee you're too good at this it's not fair QAQ
But seriously, nya xD I looooove thiiis story concept, nya, so fun and easy to read! x3 The prose is just amaaziiing, too, nya, it's a magical catalyst that takes lovable characters and an immersive world and brings it all to life! As usual, Jax-nee's style is just an addictive reading experience x3
One thing I note, though, is that the imagery is harder to follow during action scenes... which is, of course, the part that makes action scenes so hard to write in the first place, nya v; But I mean really, if you could improve that, I'd just call your prose flawless, nya, it's some of the easiest-to-read I've ever read QwQ

Love the story concept in general, too, nya! x3 The setting... I love love love stories with well-developed settings, nya, ones where I can lose myself in the world, and... well, it's hard to tell when the story's still just starting out, nya, but this has a ton of potential, and I see the start of a great world, nya cx
I'm also looving how you slowly expose on the workings of the world, rather than just dumping info, nya -v-
And of course, the characters, too, nya... Eliah and Roland make the most hilarious lead pair, nya xD Delightfully dysfunctional, much, nya? v
I'm really looking forward to seeing how they develop, over time, too, nya! Who knows, maybe Roland will even prove he's not a total idiot xD Although I already know he can use magic just from reading your tournament entries, nya... xP

But yeah, I am loving this story, nya, almost as much as I love Touch, fufu u Good luck with the future writings here, nya, I will look forward to seeing every word you add on here, nya cx

I'm just gonna review the prologue since it had such a wildly different feel from the rest of the story to me. It's a good way to start, introducing a number of intriguing characters and concepts, and you're actually heading immediately into the central conflict, but the effect is also slightly lost because of the lack of context for the audience. The audience don't really know what's going on, after all, and so I think it may be a better idea to cut this part shorter instead of aiming for too much real exposition. That way, you get to do your suspenseful and interesting bits still, but the audience spends less time confused.

Also, this is a pretty minor point since pretty much all prologues suffer from this, but the prologue's pretty disconnected from everything else that happens later. Just something I thought I'd point out in case you ever have ideas to resolve that.

By the way, this isn't particularly important but I wonder why you chose to publish this in the manga section? To be honest it comes across as more of a Western-style fantasy to me and I wouldn't have been surprised to see it in that section instead.

Oooh! Good twist! So Col's real job is to keep everyone else safe from Myra, eh? Interesting.

You're making good progress. I would like to recommend, though, that when you do descriptions that you don't just reserve it for clothes, hair and eye color.

Other than that, another good one. Can't wait for the next one.

No! I do NOT accept your apology for your sloppy editing! Oh, what? That was the prologue I already read? Well I just feel like a creep now. XD

Nice fake-out, making us think the bandits were the biggest concern. I'm loving Eliah and Roland's dynamic more and more. They just play off of one another so well.

Hehe. Bandits go bye-bye. I'm curious about what that bounty hunter is up to.

Couple REALLY big things here, big enough that I can't cover every single instance. Up till now you've been pretty good at keeping the perspective focused on just one character, but in this one your perspective keeps shifting between several different people. I liked having it from Eliah's perspective this time, so maybe you should just stick with her.

There were also a lot of cliched phrases in this one. Even "Friends of yours?" which is unfortunate, because I've always liked that particular one. The good thing about cliches, though, is that they're a lot more acceptable when used in dialogue, depending upon the character. Try to tone it down anyway, though.

Ah, now it makes sense. My original prediction was right. Roland is so unfortunate to be forced into this.

Hmm... guess I was wrong. Roland got busted or so he thought. Wonder where the bounty hunter plans on taking him.

Wow that was a suprise. Sweet little princess has a superpowered evil side. I think I am going to love this,really. Looking foward to more