I think the revelations such as "My Dad is dead" and "I'm sad" come too early and too blunt. Have you heard of showing and not telling? Also, generally go more in depth with things such as his house burning down. Good premise

Aww, this is so cool! I love the sad stuff being presented in an interesting, comedic fashion.
Wonderful.

Vyu! Please continue this! (I dunno what 'vyu' means- I just kinda made it up... Wow or something? No idea...)

That just inspired an idea for a story I've been trying to write for a looooooong time... Wow... I'm happy.
Smiley Face! (I'm somewhat against emoticons...)

This is like a cannibal story that gets twisted...YOU CAN DO IT! good luck

I've read all your stories and I lurv them! (lurv meaning super-very-much like in a happy not stalkerish or creepy in any way at all-no sarcasm intentional if you picked up any. I'm a generally a very sarcastic person) Anyway, prease write more! AMAZING! Plus hilarious. The best and most important part for everything!