|Reviews for Children of the Sprawl|
| Kommissar 12/19/12 . chapter 1
I’m wondering, if his arm is out of date and resemble metal; wouldn’t that make him easily identifiable? It seems to be the only one of its kind and a metal arm does stand out.
If the Animalia drug is deemed very harmful, why hasn’t it been destroyed? Its unclear as to where the group stole the drug, because I find it hard to believe that anybody would have a large stockpile of this highly dangerous stuff. The drug itself raises a lot of questions, mainly what ‘traits’ are being combined and from what animals. What purpose does the drug serve? Why would scientists spend millions of dollars developing it? If the drug renders the user mindless (I wonder how much of the drug the user would have to take), why would the terrorist group want these Hybrids to be part of their army?
Corps Police? Shouldn’t it be the other way around?
If Caligari’s arm is not only distinct, but also noisy, wouldn’t that make him a bad assassin if he has to be stealthy? He might not notice the sound anymore, but others surely would. He even seems to wear the same duster and hat when he goes out, which makes him stand out even more if people recognize a pattern.
I do like how you slowly introduce the world as the story continues and not just dump all the information in a prologue. Caligari’s backstory is probably the iffiest part and the drug itself. It does need a little bit of work. But other than that, good job!