Good job ma brother! You are really developing a story here :)

Make sure you proof read too! Don't always rely on your editor. XD
Otherwise, this was good. Update soon!

Sorry im slow got alot of school work

I feel bad that Shawn has to fight Hamon, but surely Shawn will win.
I'm rooting for you buddy!

Now that's what I'm talking about!

Dude, keep writing!

YEAH-EHEH! Lots of dialog!
"I would never put you through all that training if you couldn't win," -Dad
I like that line.
Hamon sounds mean, "I'm going to kill you, midget." -Hamon
See my point?
_
Mimi OUT! :3

Hey, good going, bro! You should keep writing, I want to know if Shawn beats Hamon! XD

please review

Wow... Um... A lot of Violence, eh?
I didn't now you, my little brother, would write about this...
...
...
Actually I do expect it. :l
Can you explain what the characters looks like? They look like blobs to me right now :I

Eww! The sword is covered with blood! He better wash that sword of his or else he'll give infection to anything else he cuts.
Mimi X3

Dude, write more please! "Hi-yah!"-Me, pretending to use a sword. XD
I can't wait to read another chapter!

What's the surprise? A sword, dragon, Pony? It's probably a Pony, but if not, then a sword.
mimi X3

Cool story little brother!
My, my... I wonder what is the surprise.
A sword? armor? something else? What could it be? _-_
... wait don't tell! I can read it when you post again.
Your writing skills got better since you joined fiction press and started writing.

Writing for fun is FUN .

In the next chapter, please write about what they look like please.

Haha, bro that sounds like you! XD
"Yes! Finished it! New record, 1 minute!"-Shawn
He acts a lot like you, which is pretty cool! :-P
I'm looking forward to more! :-)