Since I've already reviewed the first poem, I can't include a review of the revised version there; so, I'm putting it here:

This is better, now that you fleshed it out a bit. It definitely works much more effectively; it's actually quite an interesting (and appropriate) opening to a poetry collection. The issues of creativity—becoming inspired, creating something good, wanting to create something good—are potently conveyed. I knew you could do it! :D

- - - - -

Review of "Blitz" begins here.

This one, too, is quite effective. The notions of the lost innocence of childhood, and of youthful dreams and idealistic expectations—of how "green" the grass used to seem, coming up against the stern realities of the world—are conveyed clearly. I think it's because your language and "trajectory" through this poem is focused; it allows you to deal in abstractions without losing sight of the idea/experience/emotion that is at the heart of the matter. Good job. :)

Si vos have peregrinae linguae dicta in textu, commodo tribuo eorum Anglorum translationibus. Honestum factu est.

Why is the "C" in line four capitalized?

This one actually makes more sense then the last one especially the first two and the last stanza I like them quite a bit mostly because they make sense although "Amen. Amen." is broken apart as a stanza I don't think it should be called a stanza even though it is and it reminds me of the fact that that international organization of astronomers or whatever they're called, killed Pluto by making it into a dwarf planet and dwarf planets remind me of fantasy dwarves and I've always though that fantasy dwarves were stupid because they looked like short ugly hairy people and that the very thought of what their women would look like sent shivers down my spine and gave me the impetus to write really long long long sentences like this that go on and on in the style of Gertrude Stein who I hate with a passion and who was basically a fascist so there.

avant-garde formatting molestus est
avant-garde formatowanie jest denerwujące
avant-garde formatage est ennuyeux
Avantgarde-Formatierung ist ärgerlich
abangoardiako Formateatzea gogaikarriak
abang-galeudeu (avant-garde) seosig jjajeungnaneun ibnida
sēnābāhinīra agrabartī dala bin'yāsana biraktikara

A review in the style of your poem: XD

The first two lines make sense
lines 3 through 6 make some sense
I noticed the word Zarathustra
but that was all

cause mostly mostly
I felt a sheet on my mind
of confusion and weirdness

the class of all ordinals numbers is not a set

and distaste for strange formatting
or maybe absence thereof

yeah
I learned what ordinal numbers are
in math class today

yeah.

This makes me think.

I like the fourth stanza. Hmm.. I like this, but something about seems alittle off ,so to speak..
Continue to write. :)