Ooo, tension between Jason and Crystal. Of The Good sort of tension! ;D That's awesome. I like it when the romance takes its time. This is going along very nicely.

Also, don't forget those periods and comas! I saw a few places. Such as when you say: "I said" between one bit of talking and another. Such as here, for example:

"Hopefully it goes fast." I said "I've only got a year to find him and kiss him. Otherwise I'll die and I don't want to die"

Notice the two missing periods here? One after "I said" and the other after "die". Here's my suggestion:

"Hopefully it goes fast(,)" I ? If you put a coma at the end of what she says, then you don't have to make "I said" its own sentence. It can be a part of 'Hopefully . . .' It looks cleaner and reads cleaner that way. ;D

Much Loves,
ElvenHalfling

PS. Can't wait for the next installment! I wonder what'll happen next?

Really good! Just remember those ending quotation marks and periods, like the previous reviewer said. Or you could do THIS in his sentence:

I nodded; "she told me what she was. The Devil took her horn from her when he cursed her. He still carries it on his belt under his cloak."

. . . But, a period also works. ;D

Anyways, so a Phoenix named Firefly? That's awesome. It'll be interesting to see all of their different personalities as this journey continues. I hope it all goes well. Let's see . . . Chapter Seven? It's moving right along! ;D

Much Loves,
ElvenHalfling

PS. Love how she discovered Katherine was a girl. Not "Luther," indeed! Keep it up!

Well, you need to do some editing. These all have one thing or another wrong: 'I was worried, "But Mother isn't it at least a little bit unsettling that he has so many kingdoms of so many different races?" I asked the Queen.

'"Now Crystal," She said soothingly as she brushed my hair. "Prince Reckorn is a very good and suitable husband. He is rich and could provide you with everything you could ever need or want even. It would be a perfect and very easy life for you my daughter. I want no more then your happiness and your father and I found him to be very kind and quite flattering."

'"But Mother I don't love him." I said.'

1) I was worried, "But Mother isn't it at least a little bit unsettling that he has so many kingdoms of so many different races?" I asked the Queen. -Here. it should be a period after 'worried', not a comma. I was worried(PERIOD). Which also makes the next sentence correct: "But Mother isn't it at least a little bit unsettling that he has so many kingdoms of so many different races?" I asked the Queen. This is a complete dialogue tag sentence and can stand alone.
2) "Now Crystal," She said soothingly as she brushed my hair. "Prince Reckorn is a very good and suitable husband. He is rich and could provide you with everything you could ever need or want even. It would be a perfect and very easy life for you my daughter. I want no more then your happiness and your father and I found him to be very kind and quite flattering." Many necessary commas have been omitted, and one capital letter needs fixing. More correctly: "Now(COMMA), Crystal," (NO CAPITAL LETTER)she said soothingly as she brushed my hair. "Prince Reckorn is a very good and suitable husband. He is rich and could provide you with everything you could ever need or want even. It would be a perfect and very easy life for you(COMMA), my daughter. I want no more then your happiness and your father and I found him to be very kind and quite flattering."

3) "But Mother I don't love him." I said. -and again COMMAS are the problem. There should be three in the dialogue: "But(COMMA), Mother(COMMA), I don't love him(COMMA)," I said.

This bit needs major editing, so I'll just mention that there seems to be some confusion about whether this is a third or first person narrative: **Her** mother moved in front of **me** and looked at me, the sixteen year old elf but still she treated me like a child, "Honey, have all those old tales of true love sent you into a set of mind that true love is real? It's not my Daughter, true love, love and first sight is almost impossible you must learn to love someone and I know you will learn to love the Prince. Look at what he's all ready given you." -If this is still first person with Crystal as the narrator it should be 'my mother moved ... .' If you've suddenly switched to third person it should be 'her mother moved in front of her...' Beyond that, the dialogue is terribly in need of punctuation and clarification.

Good luck.

Alright, things are moving right along. :) Good fight scene! I think that it's the first I've seen you write where there's one man against multiple opponents . . . And for a good span of time, too!

. . . If I were Katherine (Luther), James or Jason, I would have a serious talk with that bartender woman, LOL! I wonder how the villagers will react to the death of the drunk? Will they care, and Crystal and the others flee? Will Crystal and the others leave before anyone realizes anything? Or will the guys be just the town drunks and ruffians, so everyone will cheer instead?

Can't wait to find out! And to see how Jason's story pans out with the others. ;D I wonder what the Devil is doing currently? How is he handling the parents with the runaway princess?

See you in the next chapter! Needless to say, I like this story.

Much Loves,
ElvenHalfling

LOLOLOL!

"We'll help you."

"We will?"

. . . I love Katherine. xD And this chapter, obviously!

Much Loves,
ElvenHalfling

Getting better and better all the time! Just watch those punctuation marks. Make sure every sentence ends with a period and what-not.

Also, I noticed that Katharine is Human. Was she always Human? Because I think in the previous chapter, she might have been called an Elf. I'm not one hundred percent sure about that (I would go back and check it myself, but it's way late and I need to get to sleep), so don't quote me on it, but I think Katharine went from Elf to Human.

It doesn't bother me, but I thought you should know. And if that turns out not to be the case, feel free to roll your eyes and blame it on my being tired and out of it. xD 'Kay?

Anyway, my favorite character so far is Katharine. I'm surprised. You write her really well, too. Both she and Crysal are very unique, and now we're starting to see the Unicorn's personality coming out as well. I can't wait to learn more about James and this Prince fellow. :O The next chapter will be great! Keep up the good work, Sis!

Much Loves,
ElvenHalfling

Very good! You're improving more and more all the time. You also write princesses very well,and your description is slowly improving. I love all of her clothes so far!

Much Loves,
ElvenHalfling

Loved it! Can't wait to hear more about Princess Crystal. It'll be interesting to see what she does at the dance, or if she goes. It'll also be interesting to read some of the other things you've talked about.

I liked it so far. Keep up the good work!

Much Loves,
ElvenHalfling