| Reviews for the white phoenix |
|---|
Lamason 12/21/12 . chapter 1UPDATE SOON! (: |
bookppl93 11/22/12 . chapter 6Update:)) I love it |
Fictiontales101 11/22/12 . chapter 5It is a little hard to follow. But I am interested and can't wait for the next chapter! |
Abozzaire 11/17/12 . chapter 3I really like the idea of this story, it is kind of light and cute. I like the Grey better than I like Sashi, she's too psyched up all the time for me. I think that you could kind of explain the setting a little bit more to make the story better. I didn't even know they had magic powers until Sashi unfurled her wings and flew away, and that is the sort of thing you want to give the ready a hint about before it happens. I'm assuming the other clans have powers that relate to their names too? My other suggestion is edit. Edit, edit, edit. Because with a story with such a good idea behind it, it's a shame to lose readers with typos and editing mistakes. Write on! - ha, punny. |