Your language was so like upper-class it put my writing to shame. I just feel like the second chapter was a little rush. Because it is like Locke "thought really hard on Vi", she comes over , they end it, and then new chick enters. But all and all it was really good.

Wow this story moves fast, but in a good way! I truly love how you wrote this story. Your wording helps create a vivid imagine. At first it seemed like a normal cliche love story but it ended up being more than that! Hope you continue the story

Amazing! Will you be continuing it?

Oh, lovely! Very intense. I feel awful for Locke, that's gotta be so hard. He has a wonderful girlfriend.

Wow, this is exceptional! I was expecting a cute, cliche love story but I got something totally unexpected! I seriously am dying to read the next chapter!
I love the use of imagery and the description in the setting. It's really an excellent story.
I'd like to know more about Vi, and what she does now that he 'let her go', if it works into the story that is.
All in all, I wanna read more!

I love it so far! Can't wait for the next chapter. Poor Locke, his life seems so empty.

This story is awesome! It has a good story line to it and its sp mysterious. I just want ro know more. And since Vi is gone , the new girl Sky will she help him in his darkest moment of his life? I hope she does. Cant wait ti read more!

I wanted to check up on at Fictionpress, see what you were up to and what not. And I was so stunned that you deleted your other story, riiightt when it was getting good...or where I assumed good zombie-fightin' junk would occur. Either way, I decided to read both chapters of this story, from the beginning of chapter 1 I assumed it was gonna be about a loving couple...then by the end of it, seeing a abusive mom and what not, I was all; 'oh.' not expected at all! so by chapter two, led to more questions in my mind you could say.

I hoped I would see more dialogue from Locke's mom, other than her being nice for the moment. So my overacting mind wondered just what would happen since she met Vi and Locke had that freakout; a weakness she got referred to in this chapter. Does his mom look down on weakness? expect Locke to be some mancho manly-man? or is she like a psycho and would have also hurt Vi the same way she hurt her son? Then there was his meet with Sky, obviously she isn't human {in my mind} as she knew Locke would consider suicide {which I assume was always a thing he kept to himself} but I don't know how I feel about this instantly utter infatuation, he /just/ got over a break up...technical break up that hurt him real badly. Though indeed, Sky was his savior just now.

ANYWAY I would like to see more of this, sir! soon as possibleee

Wow, in two chapters you go from mysterious, to romantic, to tense and dramatic! Well done! I feel bad for what Locke has to go through at home! Things will get better, I hope? I'm interested in seeing more of this,and I'm especially interested in learning more about Locke and this mysterious Sky. Keep up the good work lovely!

Man this is very interesting story you have here. I mean its incredible at first in the beginning, but then switch it around, i would love to read more of it, cause its that Awesome :)

Very nice first chapter. I love how when we first see him, he seems to be the kind of guy that has it all, but then we get a glimpse at his home life. You can tell how much he really likes Vi, which is so sweet! I can't wait to see where this story goes.

Your opening story is so interesting. I wanna read next chapters. Please, cotinue writing it. I will wait for you. :)

Wow, at first it was lovey-dovey with the guy and the girl and then when he gets back home...things happen o.o Actually I didn't mind having the mother swearing in this chapter, it made her sound like a really harsh mother and also, it made me feel like she was an alcoholic. I liked it how you described the oh-so-sexy smile, that was funny. Over all, the story is good, and I sense tragedy happening in the future but I'll keep reading

A very promising start, you certainly have a gift for writing. I hope you'll get reviews and keep writing this one. Good luck!