Couple things. I would like this better if it were more terse. Forinstance,
"No, don't talk like that. You're going to make it!" Could be:
"You're gonna make it!" Conveys as much info, and moves the reading along faster.

Also, the changes of scene without any indication makes the reader's work more difficult. Unless, of course, you're trying for a certain mood.

Wow, this is beautifully written. There are a few run-on sentences here and there, and some puntuation errors, but this is a VERY good read. At first I was confused with the time skips but then I got used to them they were alright. I give you 5/5 stars! :)