|Reviews for Son of a Bull|
| Dreamers-Requiem 4/10/13 . chapter 1
A really interesting start. It could do with a bit of polishing in some places, but there's nothing major that really detracts from the story. It works really well for an introduction to these characters and this world, and like others have said, it has a lot of potential for world building. Some nice imagery, especially at the start, and you really draw the reader in. Great stuff.
| Ink Flows Into Power 3/1/13 . chapter 1
Nice twist at the end - it explains a lot about Axe. Love this story - its going on my favourites. Again there is little to criticise, I can't wait to read more of your stories. The Minotaurs were portrayed in a unique though believeable manner and I want to hear more of them! Well done.
| Argentum Vir 2/6/13 . chapter 1
Good, good. For a rough idea, you seem to know where you want to go with this. I honestly like the idea and with a little bit of editing, this could be a solid first chapter. As for the nature of the Minotaur, I can't imagine them being very good at raising children. Play upon that, but make it to where this boy is content with his new heritage. Maybe even go so far to don the mask of a bull.
When or where is this story set? If you can work it into the story, I can see a bit of Greek Mythology coming in to play. Like one of the clan disappearing and coming back another day with tales of a gigantic labyrinth and the warrior that slew him and returned him to the clan. That sort of stuff.
I would advise you to use active verbs instead of passive verbs to describe things. When you use passive (was, is, etc) it takes a lot of the impact away from the story and can be intrusive. I can't wait to see you expand upon this cool setting.
| Anihyr Moonstar 12/6/12 . chapter 1
I really like the concept for this world you've built up. It sticks out as quite original - I don't believe I've stumbled across any stories on FP about minotaurs - and has all kinds of room for fascinating elaborations as far as culture and history are concerned during the world-building process. The possibilities for such a barbaric, tribal, and yet tradition-ridden race are endless and I'm sure you'll have fun expanding upon it.
I thought the idea of a "baptism by blood" - and the history of those having received such a baptism going on to become notable warriors - was neat and very fitting. A nice way to add depth to this society while at the same time providing a way for Groz to leverage even the stubborn chieftain into letting him keep baby Axe.
There are some sections where I think the prose, from a story-telling standpoint, would benefit from some cleaning and condensing - the sacrificing of dead verbs among other things, where possible - in order to keep it engaging for the reader, but all in all I think you did well. The last scene in particular, where we get an image of a tiny infant balling his fists up in a giant bull-man's made, is a nice touch of "d'awwwww..." amidst the rest of the more serious and gritty setting. ;)
| A. Nonymous1234 12/3/12 . chapter 1
This was actually really nice for a fantasy story. This isn't my cup to tea, but I decided to check it out. It's actually very well written, and even though it's a short story it's a good piece. The characters all have distinctions you highlighted in a short amount of words, and it's a well written piece in general. Good job!
| Rainera 12/3/12 . chapter 1
I'm liking the imagery you came up with for your introduction, it all ties in well with the fantasy theme and isn't incredibly far-fetched. I also like the fact that you are using minotaurs as a primary race, they seem to get very little face time when it comes to fantasy stories. I didn't see any major grammatical errors and the story pacing works very well. I would have loved to have seen Groz actually fight with Gotama over the human's fate but I can understand the character motivations for not doing so. All in all this is very solid intro and would I definitely like to see this developed further.