|Reviews for Once Upon A Time|
| Silver Sheryl 2/23/13 . chapter 4
i just really want to slap jane...dunno why
| Silver Sheryl 2/23/13 . chapter 3
| Silver Sheryl 2/23/13 . chapter 2
| Silver Sheryl 2/23/13 . chapter 1
love it better now that its original. cant wait for you to post CC!
| Tatiyonnah 2/11/13 . chapter 4
A cute story, not too formulaic considering the fairy tale genre. I like that u wanted it to focus more on the sisters than the romance. That being said, I would have liked to see more development in Jane and maribelle 's relationship - perhaps some test or trial that they can only accomplish together - just something more to strengthen their bond.
Also, the change in their relationship was way too subtle. It really just went from tolerance to slight friendship. A little more drama there would have been nice.
The length was okay since it is a fairy tale, but the end fell apart a little bit and it felt rushed - as if there were too many loose ends to tie and some were just thrown in as an afterthought.
Also i think u have to decide whether this is going to be a full length tale with a long journey and lessons to learn and new friendships or a shorter more concise tale with less morals at the end, because right now its an awkward blend of the two. I like the morals and life lessons ur trying to incorporate, but the story is so short that its hard to believe that the characters actually learn those lessons.
Overall its a cute story, but u can make it better - I just think u should either take some stuff out or put way more stuff in.
Hope I was helpful :-)
| Sylvaine.Xanthia 11/25/12 . chapter 3
To be honest, you need to work on you punctuation. But you don't have to.
| Sylvaine.Xanthia 11/24/12 . chapter 2
Keep up the good work (:
| Sylvaine.Xanthia 11/23/12 . chapter 1
What a wonderful story! (: