Wow. This is a really powerful poem; I enjoyed it.

Constructive Criticism:
The paragraph breaks between the lines really threw me off; it disrupted the flow of the poem. It would be nicer if it had line breaks, in my opinion. I also think you should try and divide it into stanzas, to make the reading easier. When the poem switches points of view, it would be a lot easier to follow if it was another stanza. "And you'll awake later ... While Mommy and Daddy apologize" Who's you?

Positive Criticism:
The poem is incredibly emotional. My favourite lines are "A broken family / Drowning in the red cup". It conveys so much emotion in such a few words. The poem is very intense and personal. The narrator goes from being bitter to sorrowful near the end, and the transition is amazing. I liked where you ended your lines; it really adds to the impact of the poem. The subtle rhyme at the end was a nice touch as well. The best thing about this poem was definitely the emotion. It really took my breath away - amazing.

Overall, it was a profound poem which you can improve with some minor changes to make the flow better. The intensity is amazing. Good job!

This is so amazing, and emotive. Really made me think :)