|Reviews for The Little Lizard|
| Guest 12/7/12 . chapter 1
| Kazlan 12/9/12 . chapter 1
First of all, thank you for sharing this lovely story. It made me smile quite a lot, and had a very sweet tone to it.
There are a few things I'd like to address, however. As the story begins, I feel like the girls should be introduced from the get-go. As it is, their introduction was hidden in the story and I found myself having to scan back over the story to realise who Sarah and Amy actually were. Instead of introducing them as "the two girls", perhaps your opening line could say: "One day, Sarah and Amy went for a walk with their grandparents" or something along those lines. Sometimes things need to be clearly set out for the reader, especially in a children's story.
Another point I wanted to make was about your punctuation. While I readily admit that I'm rather pedantic about punctuation, I feel that a writer should know when to punctuate dialog. For instance, you seem to lack commas and/or periods when dialog is followed by the character's name (eg. "Yes, I sure would" Griffo said excitedly.) In that case, a comma is needed, just as you would use a comma to indicate the pause in a sentence.
Those were the only things I had a problem with. I really enjoyed the story of Sarah and Amy's day out, and I especially loved Griffo's character. It amused me to think that a lizard might want to try out a swing, and that he might not like the taste of cola. This is a wonderful story, and just the sort of thing I imagine reading to my children one day. Thank you for sharing it. )
| yukiteddy 12/6/12 . chapter 1
so cute XD