|Reviews for Anthem of the Angels|
| VelvetyCheerio 5/11/13 . chapter 3
This was a nice chapter. I like that it didn't leave off on a cliffhanger because I don't think every chapter needs a hook to make someone want to keep reading. I also liked Farah's character because I think she's a lot different from what she first appeared to be. I thought she would be really uptight and snooty, but she's actually kind of nice.
| VelvetyCheerio 5/4/13 . chapter 2
I decided to review this chapter as the intro was fairly short and I wanted to get the maximum reading from you. :)
I really enjoy the voice of this chapter. Joey is a well written character and easily believable. Plus, he's so nice helping his friend out like that. I love that that's part of his personality, looking out for his friends. It makes him easier to like and support.
Another thing I liked was just the situation presented in this chapter. It's something done a lot, but with Joey's voice and personality, you made it unique and that's really cool. I can't imagine what you'll have planned with these characters, but it should be fun to find out.
[I mean it's not like James is asking the girls to marry him, but that's what you'd think if you saw some of the girls' reactions. ] Ahahah, I thought this line was hilarious. XD Poor James. I feel bad for him, too.
The only thing that I would suggest working on right now is dialogue. It's easily presented, but it doesn't flow as naturally as it could.
[and you may only get rejected!] I felt like "may" is a little out of place here and I think you could omit it and replace it with "you'll" or "would" to help keep the flow.
[I will ask someone else just like you suggested so that at least we don't have to deal with those girls anymore."] Don't be afraid of contractions. "I will" sounds very stiff and formal as opposed to "I'll". Also, I think you could omit "just" and "that" to keep the flow in this sentence as well.
Overall, nice work on this chapter. :) Love the voice of Joey again, it's definitely your strong point!
| Guest 4/1/13 . chapter 3
I like how Joey is kinda awkward around girls :p
Also Farah listening to music with one headphone in made me smile, because I'm sitting here listing to music with one headphone in xD
It seems that Joey is kinda being tortured by being foreced to dance... Poor guy. Though the feeling he had while listening to the music made me happy
I like Joey's parents, especially his mother
And lol I even love Jaylee's parents more! I love their bickering
I'm wondering what will happen now that they're alone...
| FtXNn 2/9/13 . chapter 3
Nice one ;)
I wonder what's going to happen to them..
Farah reminds me of my childhood friend 'Farah' I couldn't forget her because she had lovely green eyes :P
| Guest 2/9/13 . chapter 3
Awesome I love it... Can't wait for more. :D
| ChibiJinchuuriki 1/19/13 . chapter 2
Aw I really want to read more! The tension between Joey and Jaylee has become more heightened
lovin' the Apple references ;)
| jakbnimble 1/6/13 . chapter 2
This story is so cute! I feel just as conflicted as Joey about going to the dance with someone he doesn't really want to go with, while simultaneously setting up his friend with the one person he really does want to go with. He's too nice for his own good! :P
| FtXNn 1/5/13 . chapter 2
Poor kid. :(
It must've been hard for him, I think Jaylee likes him though ;) just a feeling.
| FtXNn 1/5/13 . chapter 1
I wonder if this is based on real life
| MysteriousFire 1/4/13 . chapter 2
It's funny how Joey first thinks "I don't get why no one will just say 'yes' to James either. I mean it's not like James is asking the girls to marry him." and near the end he things "I've heard that this dance is mostly for couples. Wouldn't it be awkward for Jaylee and I to go together? What if the others think we're a couple?" Now he gets why it's so hard to ask anyone.
And I think he's going to regret this. I mean what if Jaylee and James like each other and start dating?
| MysteriousFire 1/4/13 . chapter 1
A short but strong intro that gets you into the story right away. Now I can't wait to read on!
| CRAZEDbySUGAR 12/17/12 . chapter 1
awww cute beginningX3
a great introduction to the characters
| DarknessesDownfall 12/15/12 . chapter 1
Oooo that sly dog ;D surely you will continue! I'm looking forward to it!
| cupcake98 12/14/12 . chapter 1
WOW that was awesome please wirte more. that was the best. I'm begging you to wirte more. :)
| Frida 12/9/12 . chapter 1
Wow, I like the ending and this is a very nice introduction )
Can't wait to read the rest D