|Reviews for Kaleidoscope Heart: Orange|
| voidscorpenomega 2/28/13 . chapter 1
So thats what permission slips and potatos means! Last story was about love and now it is about responsibility.
| Y. S. Wong 2/26/13 . chapter 2
How is it that I did not notice the similarities to Bakemonogatari before?!
Loved the ending to the chapter. Actually, I love the whole conversation.
| Yuuenchi 2/19/13 . chapter 1
Having read the story up to the start of the second half of 5 (which is 7, as FP keeps score), I've given up waiting to catch up with w hat's current before commenting, because of the complexity mixed in with the simplicity of the tale. So, consider this my First Impression" review and I'll give a final shakedown of the story whenever you choose to end it.
My first thought upon reading was wow that guy talks a lot. My second thought was wow he likes to skip around a lot. My third thought was wow, there's not much external description going on, and what happened to the names? But, as I have begun to read further in and further in, I'm come to an acceptance of the nameless-ness of the characters. His way of introspective philosophizing has grabbed my attention, and whereas I'm not sure I can support him, I do want to know what's going to happen in his life and what has happened in his life to bring him to the place that we meet him.
A few other issues and phrases did catch my notice such as this whole prologue about 'accidents' : "Being attacked by a homicidal maniac." - how exactly is this an accident? I thought being attacked was a targeted thing? And by when he implies that nothing happens by accident is he really referring to 'coincidence'?
2) "But it is completely possible to fall into an accident while you're concentrating on something else.' I like how that rolls off the tip of my tongue, and consider this a keeper, and a quotable phrase!
3)Your narrator sounds sooo intellectually Emo it's almost pathetic. For him, not your story. I wonder how he can live with himself.
4) As to the twist of romance: it's Epic Unrequitedness! I like it! It stands for an admittance that not all romances bear fruit, and that so many times, we are like strangers passing in the night, caught by a glance and yet impotent to do anything about the glance.
5) And finally: what a cliff-hanger for chapter one (here I totally disagree with Wong, there's nothing perplexing about it.) I think that phrase alone is worth the entire chapter, if not the whole story. So thank you for writing and sharing. I'll get back to reading (and reviewing) now, so keep up the good work!
| heartworkmechanics 2/17/13 . chapter 2
That's all I can say after reading this chapter. Teachers should use this chapter in English reading/writing classes! There are a few errors here and there but it's really her opinion that is deep! That would bring on an awesome debate at the very least! I love this story so far! Thank you for pointing this story to me!
| heartworkmechanics 2/17/13 . chapter 1
Good first chapter! Forgive me for not reading sooner. Man this is so heavy with dank emotions. I read the chapter before reading your summary. It's very well written! I wonder why seeing her puts him on a death cycle! I must read on!
| Lord Slayer 1/27/13 . chapter 2
Hmmm, well your character certainly likes to philosophize. You've got stream of consciousness down, but you're letting that carry everything. All I really know at this point is that the city is spacially quarantined (whatever that is), it's dusk, and he's on a roof with the class monitor. I don't even know what their names are.
| Lord Slayer 1/27/13 . chapter 1
Sorry for taking so long to get to this.
I can't give a fair assessment for your use of first person at this point, since the story hasn't actually started. To be honest, this first chapter doesn't really tell us anything at all and comes off as a little pretentious. A story's best if you can get to the action fairly quickly.
| Y. S. Wong 1/12/13 . chapter 1
Certainly a very interesting beginning. The narration was well-written and engaging. I like how nothing happened and yet I'm still interested in knowing what's going to happen next. The overall tone and mood are coherent and work well together.
The last sentence perplexes me a bit though. "the countdown to my death sentence finally resumed ticking down to zero." My main gripe is with the word resumed. As in, the narrator's countdown had paused at one point? I haven't read ahead, so I'm not sure if I'm mis-reading it.
Overall, this first chapter presents some real nuggets to ponder over philosophically. Which is a good thing, of course.
| YelloMage 1/6/13 . chapter 20
Wow. The only thing to say is pure awesomeness. Good job C'est, that was wonderful, and I look forward to the rest of Kaleidoscope Heart.
| KoriNeko18 1/5/13 . chapter 1
Let me say this—I'm terribly intrigued. So terribly intrigued that I wantto hate the story because of it, yet cannot because it's so very intriguing. And that was only the effect of the first chapter.
I didn't catch many errors besides a run-on sentence ( near the beginning, I believe ), and a few punctuation things.
Somewhere, there's a period rather than a question mark.
Still with punctuation, I personally think that there are some missing commas In some sentences and that it would be easier to read with them, but I'm one of those comma crazy people...
(Not true; I have an obsession with semicolons, actually.)
Anyway, aside from that, I found the reading was smooth, the voice was clear, and the story was ridiculously intriguing.
I'm impressed by the style of the main character's voie, as most MC's don't take a look at cold, hard reality. It faintly reminds me of the Lemony Snicket books, actually.
But anyway, I feel the idea is just awesome and creative. The narrator is just the greatest, as well. I can't express it correctly, actually, but the mixture of the idea and the snarky character is just so overwhelmingly refreshing, I guess. I don't know, but I'll be reading the rest of this ASAP.
| Jax Creation 1/4/13 . chapter 1
Have to say that this is exceptionally well-written with beautiful prose to boot.
Love the premise from the summary; seems somewhat like ground-hog day centred around a girl.
Starting off with the narrator/unnamed MC speaking to the reader is really attention-grabbing :3 I love his voice; very direct and matter-a-fact, and his snarky sense of humour too :)
Mere ramblings this chapter may be, but the ominous, bittersweet feeling the MC's blatantly truthful words evoke is extremely hooking. I have no idea what the hell is going on yet, but when you mention a paradox and a countdown to death I can definitely say that this story has my interest. :3
My only issue is with the single-line breaks between sentences in paragraphs. They don't really need to be there—they technically shouldn't be there and it irks me.
In my opinion they break the flow of the paragraph as rather than continuously following the idea until the paragraph break, it feels like it's been fragmented into little pieces. A lot of them should all be the one paragraph (e.g. "By the way, horrible movie. I should write a note to myself to never watch it again.") while some would benefit from being separated into different paragraphs for dramatic effect. (e.g. "An impossible existence. [p] An indescribable actuality."—like you done with "Unmoving. [p] Unspeaking. [p] Unreal.")
I'd also suggest using em-dashes when he suddenly cuts himself off with a new thought as it would add to the sense that he's interrupting himself. (E.g. Before "By the way, horrible movie.")
Anyway, fascinating start to the story. I'll definitely keep reading (though I'll probably be rather slow because of all the other things I have to work on.) Keep up the wonderful work :3
| voidscorpenomega 1/2/13 . chapter 17
Perfect, perfect, perfect. This is a perfect story.
I'd like to say it's more perfect then the girl before she is given a name. I just love this story and i can barley wait for whatever happens next.
I also can't wait for a prequel on what happen about the isolation and the demons.
| voidscorpenomega 12/31/12 . chapter 12
Fascinating. Truly fascinating. I have never heard about a paradox like that before. It's also very tragic. The boy's perfect match and he can never go near her... not without dying.
| voidscorpenomega 12/27/12 . chapter 10
I still have a very little idea on what that girl is. I also have no idea about the isolation situation. Or any clue if the demons are here because of the isolation or because of the girl.
| voidscorpenomega 12/27/12 . chapter 9
I'm a big greek myth fan and im surprised that you knew that story. It's one of my favorite love stories. One of the few greek myths that don't end terribly for the characters.