|Reviews for The Hole|
| Serativale 12/8/12 . chapter 1
In this review I will state my general response as well as my judgment on the story based on how it responded to the prompt.
Overall, I am not satisfied with how the story ended. With open stories, there usually is enough information for readers to formulate their own annoying theories for the who, what, when, where, and whys. In this piece, I cannot formulate a confident theory that explains the "w's". The following contains my understanding of and my shaky answer to the w's of this piece: Three people are related to each other. If the narrator was female, this relationship is probably a love triangle (that didn't end well). That explains the strangling questions coming from the male voice in her head and the dead girl in the girl. The crowd is probably a bunch of people who wants to kill the narrator, a bunch people who cheers on the narrator, a figment of the narrator's imagination, an aesthetic effect, or zombies (this is my favorite). I really have no idea. Moving on.
The writer is prompted to "Retrace your steps to try to discover your motivation". In this piece, the "retrace your steps" was done in good detail. I liked how you made the narrator's perception of the surroundings to be directly proportional to the author's state of mind. As the true motivation became clearer, the "laughing" dirt slowed to a stop and the cacophony slowed to an eerie silence. The best bit I read was "The insane grins of the little grains of dirt contort into looks of terror". This other bit, "I attempt to look about me, but the landscape is obscured by a heavy fog—or perhaps it is my thoughts that are obscured," could be better. This is my suggestion: "I attempt to look about me, but I only see a heavy fog. The landscape, like my thoughts, are obscured."
So yeah, this be my review.
| Poe1554 12/8/12 . chapter 1
I always appreciate the truly insane stories that makes the reader go a little crazy, as well. This is well written. There should be no more or no less, it is all well done within it. I applaud you.
| blueagle246 12/7/12 . chapter 1
Very good for how short it is. You use detail very well to pain the scene and really show us what is happening.