|Reviews for Ops 9 - Inersia|
| LasicaDiem 1/8/13 . chapter 3
Pretty well written and an interesting story so far. Look forward to reading more.
The only criticism I'd have is that some of your sentences are a little too verbose and jumbled and could be trimmed or rearranged to make them easier to read.
For example, "The suitcase was lined by soft black velvet, which was soft beneath my hands but as I moved over just two inches my fingertips brushed against cool steel and hard edges, contrasting the velvet of before."
You've twice mentioned that the velvet is soft when you only really need to do that once. The part where your character moves over two inches makes me wonder did she move her hands or her whole body? And the last part is jumbled and doesn't read well to me.
A little rearranging and it could be something like, "The suitcase was lined with soft black velvet, but as I moved my hands over just two inches my fingertips brushed against cool steel and hard edges, a sharp contrast to the fabric lining."
Apart from that, your world building, characters and story are otherwise great so far.