|Reviews for The Screams Of Wonderland|
| Little purple bookworm 1/27/13 . chapter 1
You write great poetry. I love this one.
| Sarah-Brighteyes 1/19/13 . chapter 1
I love the wonderland imagery! Brilliant poem. Loved it!
| Wonder46 1/15/13 . chapter 1
I... this... there are no words. This poem has to be the most magical one I've ever read. The metaphors and personification are genius and make me see things as I never would've before.
| Irish Eyes 63 12/25/12 . chapter 1
I have missed reading your work sososo much! And finally, I have time to give you a decent review. BOOYAHHHH!
"The words they fall, / Like teacups out of the Mad Hatter's Hat." Firstly, lovelovelove the immediate comparison to Alice in Wonderland. Have you ever read Into the Looking Glass? This reminded me of that book :D I like the simile with the teacups and his hat, the randomness of having a porcelain dish falling out, which makes it perfect for the Mad Hatter. "The words they fall," I feel like there should be something between 'The words' and 'they fall, whether that be a dash ( - ) or a comma ( , ) I'm not sure. Either could work as a pause, or an add on thought.
"Was this really the way we had to end the fairytale?" AHH. YES. I ADORE THIS. There's something so certain and deciding about how it's 'the fairytale' and not 'our fairytale' or something like that. You always have the most awesome one liners!
"The tears smack against the china plates, / As cracks around us begin to burst open." The connotations of 'smack' and 'tears' is such a lovely comparison. I love the rough edge that the tears have to acquired in order to meet the china plates. Beautiful choice of wording. Also, I FREAKING love the second line! Generally, cracks don't burst... they crack. Like spidering lines that claw all over the place. But I thought that the description of cracks bursting to be especially special.
"The world we built, the one that stood so strong. / Is now crumpling in our hands, / And all I can do is watch you fall down." I believe that instead of a period in the first line, there should be a comma to introduce the second line. Or is that some kind of poetry rule that I'm completely oblivious about? If so, ignore me :] I find it very interesting that only one person is falling, even though the world they built together is crumpling. I wish you would have dedicated a line or two telling us how they didn't fall with the other character. I think I would have very much enjoyed reading that small insight to their person.
"The end of make believe as only we knew it, / While we drifted apart into some foreign land, called Purgatory." I liked it, but I wish you would have stayed with the Alice in Wonderland theme and switched Purgatory out with Wonderland or some place in Wonderland. Be careful with introducing too many ideas and not being able to fully develop them, you know what I mean? You did a nice job with bringing Wonderland back into the story with the lines "This endless state of limbo, not knowing where I stand. / Until I fall and land back in Wonderland." Unless the Purgatory you are referring to is actually a place on Earth, or Earth itself, and then I completely understand. In that case, it's quite the brilliant metaphor, and I'm an idiot for trying to correct you. Just ignore me if that's the case :D
"And all I can do is scream and scream hoping you'll hear me, / Like I heard you before." Comma in between 'scream' and 'hoping.' YOU COMPLETELY TIED YOUR LAST SENTENCE TO YOUR FIRST ONE - LIKE A THESIS STATEMENT - AND I LOVE THESES STATEMENTS. Ahhh! I love you! As always, fabulous job! I can't wait to read your newest piece :] And I hope you're getting plenty of sleep. And I hope your ankle is doing better!
| Love A Mysterious Thing 12/18/12 . chapter 1
Wow. This poem had every ounce of my attention. I'm speechless at your description! You're in my favorites for a reason and this poem was very clear as to why! Your style as a poet with breath taking. My favorite lines in this were "Some have the ring of truth in them/While others a veiled nightmare." and "The end of make believe as only we knew it,/While we drifted apart into some foreign land, called Purgatory./This endless state of limbo, not knowing where I stand." I mean wow. This had such depth and was just amazing. it takes some real imagination to write something like this and you executed it perfectly. Great, great write.
| AppleCrumble 12/15/12 . chapter 1
I loved the Alice In Wonderland imagery in this. It's beautiful yet still haunting with the fairytales nightmare and the Purgatory. Really great piece. I loved the fear your portrayed, so vivid. Great poem a new favourite!
| BookcraZzaY 12/15/12 . chapter 1
I love the wonderland reference at the beginning as I read this it kept getting darker and darker. It is a dark poem but it's extremely deep as well and the words help me to imagine really well what's going on such as the screens reaching your nightmares and the cracks As everything's falling. Perfectly written poem!
| DarkInkyDreamer 12/13/12 . chapter 1
I love how you use some rhymes and amazing imagery. Strong images and great story, well done :)
| Naver 12/11/12 . chapter 1
That's impressive, This paints such a tragic scene like memories in a glass and then it shatters and the truth starts to show, very good as always. :)
| TheGlycoprotein 12/11/12 . chapter 1
This is awesome - I especially loved the last six lines, and the chaotic-almost-rhyme scheme you had going there, it really added to the kind of crazy nature of the poem, what with the whole world collapsing, you can just imagine the March Hare hopping away to hide in a tree, or the Queen of Hearts calling for them to chop off Godzilla's head.
Anywho, AWESOMENESS! :D
| petbuddy 12/11/12 . chapter 1