|Reviews for The Very Thought of You|
| GiveItTime 12/13/12 . chapter 1
Hi from the review game :)
Ok, so i think this story has potential, but it needs editing to make it flow more. I didn't really understand what was going on at first and for a while i thought you were muddling up your genders for Jaime, as i had no idea whether he was male or female. I think who these people are is an important first part of your story.
one quick error:
"Samantha met Jamie on ." On what?
Otherwise i loved how gritty and real this was. You very easily brought across how each character was feeling and you could really identify with them.
Overall, not too bad. I'd love to read more and see how this develops :)
| wisedec4u 12/12/12 . chapter 1
I liked how fleshed out your characters were in the beginning. You didn't great job with the descriptions and dialogue. Everything came of across and not forced. My only criticism is that after drawing me into Jamie and Rachel's characters, I felt like I had the rug pulled from underneath me. The last part seemed so rushed. I don't think this is one those stories whose depth and complexity can be summed up in one chapter.
| Anihyr Moonstar 12/12/12 . chapter 1
Really nice piece. Very 'human' if that makes any sense. I like the depth of character that you get across, the subtleties wrapped into the details. It has that slight, almost gritty feel of reality stamped all over it, which I feel is just right for the tone.
Sometimes the pace moves a little slow. For the most part, I know it's not supposed to be fast or action packed (far from it), and it doesn't need to be, but there are a few sections that I think would benefit from a little condensing to highlight the strongest details and give it a little more overall impact.
All in all, though, I definitely enjoyed it. It left me with that sort of torn, melancholy but hopeful lurch in the pit of my stomach. Nice job.