|Reviews for 21|
| Miggles 3/1/13 . chapter 8
I like it so far, but there are some spelling and grammar errors which makes it difficult to follow. Otherwise, love the idea and can't wait for you to update! :D
| Miggles 2/25/13 . chapter 1
Loved the first chapter - very intriguing and can't wait to read more when I have the time. :)
There are typos here and there that aren't too hard to spot, things like missing letters or words.
Good job. :D
| katayoku.no.tori 1/20/13 . chapter 8
Great mystery :) but I feel like it was a little rushed at the end.
Please update soon :)
| katayoku.no.tori 1/20/13 . chapter 7
I wonder what happened to BlackRose...
Jett's amazing XD he got stuck in a hole
Sometimes i feel like he's not as smart as he should be XD
Haha sorry for taking so long to review, second semester started and is really busy '
| Whitefire19 1/19/13 . chapter 5
I get the feeling something important happened with Black Rose, and it's going to come back somehow later. Also, anxious to see what the training is. Good suspense. Two things I thought might be good for the story were, maybe you could research the accents of each of the kids, so you can incorporate the differences into their speech, though that might be kind of hard. You could also give the readers a general description and layout of the complex where the kids live and the people who run it and how it works. Or is that going to come later?
| Whitefire19 1/19/13 . chapter 4
Interesting chapter. The whole aura thing is cool. I use it later on in my story too. This is just a suggestion, but it might seem a bit more natural if instead of just parts of their body glowing at first, you start seeing the color already all around them, but it's really faint and translucent, but it gets clearer and stronger the more they concentrate. Like I said, just an idea.
| Whitefire19 1/19/13 . chapter 3
Ouch, why you gotta hate on America?... I'm kidding. I know it's part of his character. I probably should have said this earlier, but I think you should look over your chapters for little spelling and grammar errors before you post them. Also, Fire would not redirect a bullet, or knock a gun out of someone's hand. Though it could melt the bullet and the gun. There's a lot of that in Code Breaker. Other than that, really good chapter.
| Whitefire19 1/19/13 . chapter 2
Good job with the backstory, short sweet and too the point. Though I think Daniel should refer to his mom and dad as "Mom" and "Dad" unless that's different in Ireland. Also, you should watch an anime called Code Breaker. It's a lot like this story and might help with writing it.
Daniel should've burnt his Dad to ashes.
| Whitefire19 1/19/13 . chapter 1
This was a great first chapter. I love stories like this, with the superpowered kids and the main character and his sister have very natural, believable feelings and reactions. Looking forward to what happens next.
| katayoku.no.tori 1/9/13 . chapter 6
Andy, second favorite character. :P
| katayoku.no.tori 1/9/13 . chapter 5
aww. Black Rose is (to me XD) adorable when she's confused!
ahh! small cliffhanger DX Ok, I have to read the next chapter now. I don't care that I'm in school.
| katayoku.no.tori 1/9/13 . chapter 4
Ooooh! Jett's a lover boy XD haha
| katayoku.no.tori 1/9/13 . chapter 3
There were a few confusing parts in this chapter, but overall I liked it :D
And I kind of feel bad for John. everyone calls him an idiot. :'(
Shadow sounds like a fun character, I hope you keep her in the story!
| katayoku.no.tori 1/7/13 . chapter 2
I liked that this chapter was very descriptive of what happened before, but I noticed that you changed what happened from the first chapter to the second. In the first chapter, Daniel passed out in front of the gates. In this chapter Black Rose dragged them to John. Maybe you could change this a little.
And I kind of wished you showed what their training was like! I wanted to see Jett, Daniel, and the others in action! XD But I don't mind, I bet it will happen in the future.
I'll go read the next chapter when I get a chance!
| katayoku.no.tori 1/6/13 . chapter 1
Wow, this is really good! I like how you added the small piece at the beginning, telling of how Daniel got there, but not explaining much. It kept the mystery of the story there, but made it so the reader wouldn't be confused and left completely in the dark.
You had me hooked from the first paragraph on, and I have a feeling the next chapters will be the same :)