Wow, action packed story. The bit chapter 4 where Leela got her leg chopped off was quite the shocker, and Sally still had some. Them damn trolls are evil. Hope to read more soon.

I'm rather sad you didn't show Sally being attacked by the trolls, seeing her home burned down by dragons, or meeting the others. Those all would have been interesting things to read about, would have created tension, and affected the plot. As it was, I found it difficult to really invest myself in Sally's plight in this chapter.

This was a fun first chapter. I quite liked Sally, and I'm interested in seeing where her adventure will take her. I like that she starts off quite plain with very little power and no one listening to her. It leaves lots of room for future drama and character growth.

A good start and you're setting up an interesting character. But right now everything is very much in the form of a narrative. I think moving into a closer point of view and giving us the story directly from Sally's POV would make the story stronger.

I do love it when people can draw pictures for their stories.