Hey! Your writing is getting better! I'm quite impressed- keep this story going, it's neat to see your writing develop as the story goes on!

This is really well-written and thought over ;D I like how this is going and the structure is perfect xD I sound a bit crazy here...do your best!

XxDreaming of RealityxX

So... Is it over? She killed the Eagle so... It's over?

I really like this story. It can definitely be something fantastic! The only thing I suggest is that you extend things a little bit. Give your characters time to develop because when they do, you may just find that your story is not what you thought at all. And, just because I fancy myself a fortune teller, is Hawthorn alive? I read your profile- I'm a Potterhead, too!