|Reviews for Wonder|
| Imaginary City 1/7/13 . chapter 1
I love the starting paragraph; every word written I can visualize it in my head.
“She waited for him to sit down next to her, talk to her like she was out of her mind - God knew everyone else was - and then stare at her with concerned eyes. He hesitated at the last-minute, just like everyone else. No one wanted to approach the crazy one.”
I like how descriptive the fourth line in your story is: “Her gray eyes flashed, but she didn't meet his gaze. "Hi," she finally replied forcefully - usually, using that tone is the hint that means 'go away' - and determinedly stared back down at the street, over a hundred feet down.”
The part where you wrote “And I what I find just so goddamn amazing is that you people haven't figured out a reason about why." Did you mean, “And I know what”?
Also, there was another part, this line: “That it's what's right. That's it's wrong to want to die,”
For the first sentence, did you mean to say “That is what’s right.”? I think for the second sentence you meant to say “That it’s wrong to want to die.”
It’s not that big of a deal; I know what you mean
Overall, I found this story nicely done. The descriptions brought it to life.
| The Road Is Miles Long 1/5/13 . chapter 1
Nice! I like how quickly you establish their separate personalities. No meandering for five pages trying to get a feel for it, just to the point. :) I like it! And nice hook, the ZA theme.