|Reviews for Shiroi Yuki|
| indigobreath 3/15/13 . chapter 2
Looks like an entertaining story! Please update soon!
| Elowai 1/20/13 . chapter 2
Oh my gosh! This is really good :D! I am excited to see the next chapter. Also, you should make this a light novel :). I would so read it! If you want, I can do the artwork. I don't want to brag, but I am really good at artwork :).
| Nelo Warrior 1/8/13 . chapter 1
It's a very good start. Concise but clear to the point, which is always good. Only a few small things stood out to me. When it's just someone's thoughts, there's no need to add 'san' to the end of their names. That's usually just reserved when someone is actually speaking. Of course you can keep it as is, that's just the way I've known it to be. It also might not be a bad idea to add a bit more detail in appearance and characteristics to your characters to define them more.
Other than that I would just make sure to go through and proofread your entries. I tend to spend a lot of time when I write and a good portion of that is going through and reading it to make sure it flows nicely and there aren't any obvious mistakes. It sounds basic but you'd be shocked how those easy little mistakes can show up even for someone with good grammar and writing skills.
Keep up the good work! This is just an idea, but since this story is based on Japanese style schools. It might be good for you to perhaps research and read up on how their schools are over there. It might actually give you some great material and ideas for later chapters. Of course, if you have a Japanese friend who went to school over there, that's always a terrific first hand source.
Good luck! .