Awesome chapter... this story just gets better and better.

Anxiously awaiting the next update :D

Wow! You have a really amazing story going so far! I really enjoy your writing style and am super excited for the next chapter! Keep up the great work! :)
Peace, Love and Happiness! :)
Bubbly Girl

Amazingly good lol I was reading it nonstop and as soon as I finished this part, I found myself a little bothered that there wasn't another chapter to read lol. Keep it up, you've definitely got the talent!

I think the story is very good, sorry I don't have a critique for you.

I think your story is really engaging. Its got a lot of potential too!

Brilliant as always!
Just picked up one tiny error: the "in" should be "on" in "lay limp in the floor".
Looking forward to the next chapter
Xxx

This is interesting. Overall, a fantastic idea. Your spelling and grammar is decent, and you kept the first chapter flowing well from word to word. No choppiness, no stiffness (which I find in my writing all the time XD) in the descriptions of things, or from one scene to the next. Your writing style is supreb in my opinon.

Though you still may need to keep a keen eye on which word you have in mind, and which word you actually wrote. In one area, you wrote 'He coughed, as if clearing his through'. I'm pretty sure you had in mind the word 'throat'. I still got what you were trying to say though.
Its a common mistake among many writers. When you get the ball rolling, its hard to stop it XD. But as writers, we do need to take control of that ball, push it backwards, and make sure that what we wrote was what we wanted to tell the reader, so that the reader wouldn't be confused.

Don't take this as criticism. Take it as a warm, trying to be helpful comment from one writer to the other :) I see poteniel in this story, and all I want is to help in anyway that I can as a fellow writer, and as well as an awestruck reader.
This is a job very well done. :)

the imagery in this was really good, and i enjoyed your characters, but i found some things worded awkwardly.

I've actually enjoyed this quite a bit. Keep writing! You'll only get better(: Oh, and reading helps. I've added this to my favourites.
Update soon (:

Again, pretty good. Maybe add more attention to their surrounding, like giving us little snippets about what's going on around the characters, but not too much or it will get distracting. This is actually a bit challenging for me as well, but I think I've gotten a little better (I hope) and it's only a matter of going back through your story and adding details to polish it. I do it all the time, sometimes even after I've already published the chapter!
Great work though. (:

Honestly, I believe this story has heeps of potential. Another thing I may suggest are some amusing similies and metaphors. They brighten up a story as well as giving it it's own unique feel. You know, something like, 'her eyes resembled two golf balls' or 'her hands were as clammy as a sea-shell' except less cheesy lol. My first story, Merboy, actually was a bit like this only yours is WAY more developed lol. I just went back and did some editing and I still think it needs work. - Writing is a process, as you know, and the more you write, the better you get!

This is actually pretty good! A thing I would suggest however is to do more showing instead of telling. A lot of authors have trouble with this, including myself. Instead of saying straight out how the character is feeling try to use descriptive word to imply at it. For example: Instead of saying, 'She was scared.' maybe say something like, 'Her hands were trembling, body quaking at the immense amounts of pressure closing in on her.' Or the line in your story, "Cecelia was a quiet albeit fashion savvy girl" you don't nessarily have to state it, but show us how. See the difference? You still get exactly how she is feeling or how she dresses without saying it straight out, and it makes it more interesting -
A thesaurus (sp?) also is your best friend, embrace it! lol. But seriously,I use it like every paragraph. It can provide you with interesting words, but make sure not to overdo it.
Now off to chapter two!

My favourite chapter so far!
I do hope that Warren has a method behind his madness apart from the fact that he's invested so much time into her.
A few more syntactical errors but I'm starting to class them as part of your writing style.
Perhaps explaining a bit more about the magic parts would have made it easier to understand... Will Roger's energy drain as he holds the enchantment? What will happen if he holds it too long? What is the enchantment? Does it only prevent Warren from entering the property and seeing them? If so, how come the dead fae was on Roger's lawn. If not, why would others not see their car as they drove.
Xxx

I am enjoying our story so far. And after this chapter I am officially spooked out! Please continue.

So far, the plot, characters and details are rather good. The only things I noticed were a few grammatical errors and perhaps a small lack of detail. I'm not fully sure what Lexi looks like at this point, or even Warren. The wings for Sven were awesome, though. The detail you used to describe those is probably the amount you should use to describe the other major characters of the story. For a work in progress, this is amazing. And I can't wait for the next chapter.