This is really good. Strong imagery that really carries the reader through the story, and it’s such an interesting take on death. I really like the way he was portrayed, and I think you managed to use ‘traditional’ ideas but without it being cliché. The small details added so much to it, too, and there was some really nice description used. A really good short story.

When I read your work, I said to myself, "How did this piece get only a runner-up instead of first prize?" This is, hands down, one of the greatest pieces of writing I've seen on and . I read this without skipping paragraphs or stopping completely, and I could picture everything in my imagination as if I were watching it myself.

The only two things I would change are minor. At the end you say, "know that Maureen's souls had passed..."; my guess is it should be singular. The other is Death's quote, "Onwards...I trust you know the way." I think that works just fine, but I think it is just a little weak. Your descriptions are so emotional and strong, Death's quote would be better as a description.

But those suggestions don't harm the story at all. I think you're a profoundly gifted author and an imaginative storyteller. Keep it up! I look forward to reading more.

Also, congratulations on winning a runner-up (even though I think this could have placed higher in the competition)!

Cheers,
John

This is an amazing story. Write more! This is very original, and I would've given it more than an honorable mention!

So wonderful! Loved the emotions Death had, so nicely written. Loved the visuals and word flow!