I really enjoyed this. It was really raw and sounded quite intimate, even if you made it up as a story (although it sounds pretty non-fictional). The line I liked best was "I painted my nails pink and I can't sleep." Nice and concise. :}

Baaaaaaaaaaaaa,
Ewe.

P.S. When I can't sleep, I just think about other stuff, like plotlines, characters, and what I'd put in an empty shoebox if I had one.

You're in jazz band? Me too.. That's cool :)
Btw I love your writing and journals

This is in DIRECT RESPONSE TO YOUR "Dea journal" entry. I would NEVER/NOT ever want anything bad to happen to YOU. NEVER/NOT ever SERIOUSLY. That wouldn't be brave - Do YOU know what brave is? To take a chance so that you can be happy. Take a chance on what? On people that REALLY DO CARE ABOUT YOU. FOR REAL.

Please I DON'T want YOU to stop existing. Why? Because I CARE ABOUT YOU AND BEYOND SO. REALLY.

YOU ARE NOT messed up inside. YOU JUST NEED TO KNOW that YOU ARE LOVED AND RESPECTED. SERIOUSLY. And FOR REAL.

I would LIKE for YOU TO BE HAPPY. And ALIVE AND HEALTHY - I would LIKE for YOU TO KNOW THAT YOU ARE LOVED AND RESPECTED FOR REAL. SERIOUSLY.

If you turn the music up louder, maybe you can block out those feelings. Existing is feeling the good and the bad. You can't have one without the other, maybe you need to feel the wounding things to appreciate the wonderful things.

Did you know that the parts of your brain which determine pleasure and pain/violence feelings are near each other? That's one of the reasons gore, violence, and unsettling images often give us thrills, enjoyment. I understand you were intrigued for other reasons...but I think it's often that I find pleasure in being sad. It's simple and easier than trying to be happy. It's sort of a paradox but hey, I realise a lot lately that I would rather put the effort into being happy.

This isn't necessarily applied to you, I guess I'm just talking. I don't understand being depressed or truly sad I don't think. I understand feeling stressed and melancholy, upset at trivial things, and letting things bother me far too much more than I should.

I prefer this to your normal work- it's still quite brief, but there's a clearer idea of what's going on.

That sounds awful. I'm sorry. You know, they aren't fighting because of you. Whatever happened between you and your mum, she wouldn't get upset with you Dad because of you.

I'm Lorelei by the way. I hope my crazy weird comments aren't annoying you.

I concerned for you. Skinny to bones isn't super healthy. I'm sure you're beautiful just the way you are.

I agree with exercising, it's good for you. But try to stay healthy and fit. If you don't eat enough and you try to exercise, you burn all of the wrong fats, and your body weakens. And it looks to your backup supply for energy, and it burns things you need to be healthy. Be careful! 3

No one is looking like you think. They don't notice when your butt looks extra big or when your hair is screwed up. And if they do, they don't care, it doesn't change their opinion of you. And if it does, they're usually terrible.

It's hard to realise. I didn't realise, I was told. I still don't believe it sometimes but I know it's true.

That boy in the skinny jeans? He doesn't mind if you have a pimple. He doesn't notice.

Your mother sounds lovely and wonderful.

It's beautiful that you can love something like you love piano. I love stories. Reading them. Writing them.

Do you like Owl City? Listen to Owl City. You'll sleep.

I care when no one is around too.

What episode of Friends was it?

I regret yelling at my little sisters. I'm trying to be kinder, and it's difficult with school. School is distracting and it feels like my entire life.

Last night, I taught some of my sisters how to do dishes, and we had loads of fun. I have four by the way. Four sisters, and four brothers.

You're so easy to read about. I've tried reading friends' journals and sometimes it can be difficult, regrettably.

I've never been so interested in lights. ;)

You seem wise.

I imagine this boy now, as you talk about him, but only his bottom half. And I see in my head, the bottom half of everything. Of the stop sign, and the school bus, and the shrubs on the front lawns. Only the bottom half. It's very intriguing.

:)

May I talk to you? You interest me. (: