"depths of darkness" cliché. So far I am reading many cliché lines. Try switching up the images to something fresh and new. Don't be afraid to put two words next to each other that have never been next to each other. I would probably ditch the punctuation or use it in all places needed. Why don't you try this exercise with this poem to see if you can make it more original: Leave all words such as "from, the , they, in , into, your, are, you...etc," the same. Next, change every word that does not fit into the category before into a word with the next letter in the alphabet. EX: From the echoes of eternity they float. This will give you a poem with little meaning, but not all poems need a deep and dark meaning. Some poems are for making beautiful images and leaving a honey feel on your tongue when you read them out loud. Why don't you try this exercise and see what you come up with?

Beautifully dark, well done!

Awesome! I love this! It's cool! *hands cake, apple pie and ice cream* Here you go!